Ayurveda Cleanse... Day 4

I'm still feeling amazing.

But one very strange thing is happening... the yoga lady said that we would start to feel our bodies all over, like down to the molecules... sounds weird right?  Yeah, I said the same thing (probably even chuckled to myself and rolled my eyes a little).  BUT, it's true.  

My body feels tingly all over and every part of me has this strange ache (my hubby says that they've drugged me; he thinks I've joined a cult).  All I've done so far is drink the ghee...

That's 8 teaspoons!

Add A little almond milk in order to drink it and heat them up

You've got to blend them! Love my new magic bullet!

 So glad that's over...

Eating cleanly (fruits and veggies).  Use my netti pot...

 (It feels weird, but it really does clean your sinus' out; it feels amazing to wake up and be able to breath!).

Drink ginger tea (with every meal); take out the caffeine from my life.  Take Kapha vitamins—It's all been pretty simple.  Except of course for the drinking of the ghee (seriously, who drinks clarified butter?)  But I really do feel amazing.  Unfortunately, my body is starting to take it's natural course and I'm getting tired around 11 p.m. and I'm usually up for work until at least 2 a.m. so it's been a little bit of a struggle to keep my energy up to get me through a work night sans caffeine.  But I've found that if I eat some dried fruit or fresh fruit it gives me a boost to get through the night.  I'm actually thinking of keeping this no caffeine thing going.  It's still under negotiations in my mind.

My mantra for this week is, "I am strong."

I've been using it for everything:  When I get an urge to drink caffeine (I am strong), when working at a restaurant kicks the cravings into high gear (I am strong), some asshole cuts me off in traffic (I am strong), or when the dress I wanted isn't in my size (seriously, who is an extra small? Why is it even on the rack?)(I am strong). 

So tomorrow starts Thank God I'm Not Drinking Ghee Again Day and instead I'm massaging with curred sesame oil (sesame oil smells amazing!).  

This is the Ayurveda way of cleansing the body from it's toxins on the outside (the ghee was in order to clean the insides of toxins).  I have to say, I'm really looking forward to the massage because my body aches so much; I'm feeling every pain and every ping that comes through my nerves (I feel so in touch with my body).

I can't wait to keep going on this cleanse and keep my mantra flowing throughout my mind each day.

I am strong.

Ayurveda Cleanse...

On Saturday I went down to my local herb shoppe for a session on learning about the Ayurveda detox cleanse.  I really wasn't prepared for what I was going to learn and I wasn't prepared for the length of the class (almost 5 hours of learning about Ayurveda!).

Ayurveda is sanskrit for wisdom of life or wisdom of living.  I went in to the class without an open mind, but by the end of the class I was feeling very lifted and optimistic.  It just taught me stuff that I couldn't deny about myself.

http://www.staengldesign.com/kapha.html

My dosha is Kapha:  "People with more Kapha in their constitutions tend to be of larger proportions, with a robust frame and padded joints, thick smooth skin that may tend towards oiliness, and rich, wavy hair. They are stable and calm in thought, speech and action, and are easy-going and supportive in relationships. There is an element of steadiness to their step, a quality of serenity in their smile. Loyalty is usually their second name. They are long, heavy sleepers and uncomfortable in damp, clammy environments. Calm and sweetness of disposition are hallmarks of balanced Kapha."

It also says that Kapha's shouldn't eat wheat or dairy because it causes imbalance.  It's crazy.  I know that dairy, breads, and pastas are the things that aggravate my stomach and cause me difficulty.  Yet, I love them.  It's something that I'm working on now that I know I should try to avoid them in order to feel my best.

I started eating really clean about a week or so ago so I could start the cleanse as soon as possible.  I started on Monday.  I feel amazing and it's only been two full days.  I'm not going to lie, the first day was really hard.  For the first four mornings I have to drink Ghee (clarified butter) but luckily I'm able to mix it with some almond milk and cinnamon (blended; the ghee and the almond milk are like oil and vinegar, they just don't mix).  This is so you can purify your insides within the first four days.  These first days you can only eat fruits and veggies.  No caffeine (that was the hardest).  I'm just amazed that I don't have a headache.  

The last four days include eating Kitcheri, sesame oil massages (to bring toxins out), and drinking some castor oil, and a whole lot of stuff that I'm not looking forward to, but I'm keeping an open mind now because I feel amazing and connected to my body (just like they said I would).  

My family thought I was crazy at family dinner on Monday for not joining in on the eating except for my bowl full of veggies, but I don't care, I wanted to do this for myself in order to make a good start at clean eating.  Hopefully, this jump start can keep me going on eating healthy.  

Three days with no caffeine!  Now that's the biggest accomplishment I could have ever achieved.

This should be interesting...

Tuesday Tea Quote...

"The greatest tool you have is the ability to listen"

—Yogi Ginger Tea

I Love Shopping...

I do.  I love shopping, I just can't help myself.  But lately, I've been so good at just "window" shopping.  I haven't been going crazy spending money; I'm giving myself a budget of $100 per week for spending (that includes gas and groceries) so if I want to buy a big purchase I need to save money for a little while in order to purchase it.  I'm putting a certain amount of money away per month in order to reach a goal that I have in my mind for what I want in savings for our future.  Wow, I'm getting so old!  And so far, I have to say that I've reached that goal for January and February; I'm pretty proud of that.

Now that we have our desk complete

(although the office itself is definitely not, so don't mind the horrible pictures), I'm looking to find a new desk chair.  I thought that the hubby might be attached to the chair he had but then he let me know that it was a hand-me-down so if I wanted to change it, I could.  Yea, shopping!

Unfortunately, these are two of the chairs I was looking at from Ballard Designs.  Initially anyway.  But then I looked at the prices and realized that it's just unrealistic for a desk chair.  I mean seriously people, $500-$700 for a desk chair? I mean, yea they're cute but I'm pretty sure that they're also not worth it, unless you're an executive sitting your behind on that chair all day (what am I talking about?  I'm sure CEO's have chairs worth thousands of dollars! But still, it's expensive for us working stiffs!).

So, Mom and I made trip over to HomeGoods today in order to find a chair that works for the room.  I don't want to go too dark because the room is dark but I didn't want to go light either.  Unfortunately, the one chair I did like had a leg on it that was glued together; I refuse to pay $200 for a chair with a broken leg (even if it's fixed!).  I took some pictures of some ideas for the office, but I'm still not settled.

Let me know what you think... the desk chair doesn't need to have wheels (we'd actually prefer without wheels because of the rug), I just want a comfy chair for us to settle into when we're doing our Rosetta Stone...

I think the one is too feminine and big and the other matches the curtains too much

Too bland?

And these were the lights I was looking at... cute little lamp or traditional desk lamp?

Or should I keep looking? The longer I put it off, the more money I save.  A win win in my book.  But I do want to see the finished product sooner than later.

Tuesday Tea Quote...

I found a new tea brand that I instantly fell in love with once I had my first taste: Good Earth.  A few weeks ago Shop Rite sent out a coupon for the brand (maybe that's because the hubby buys me about 7 boxes a tea every other month!) so I had to take advantage of it (they even sent two teas with it).  The original brand tastes like a red hot; it's fabulous, especially with a little bit of almond milk.  They've also got great quotes on their tea bags, so my tea quote tuesday might just give you some better quotes to mull over...

"All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them."

—Galileo Galilei

"Artists who seek perfection in everything are those who cannot attain it in anything."

—Eugene Delacroix

Oh My, Is It Valentine's Day...

I've never been a big Valentine's Day person; it might just be because I never really felt like I had a sweetheart who cared about it like I did.  When you're a kid it's all about getting those little paper Valentine's cards and you hope, for some reason, that someone will give you a special one that they didn't pick out for the rest of the class.  When you're a teenager you start to realize that you want romance, you want someone to send you flowers to school or have them waiting at your car or on your front porch when you get home from classes.  A lot of the time you're disappointed.  Sometimes your high school sweetheart just isn't the guy on the white horse that you made him out to be.

Not to say I never had a good Valentine's day when I was younger, but it always felt like something your man had to do, not something that he really wanted to do because he felt you were special.  It was more like, well it's Valentine's day, so here's your flowers (the one's that still have the sticker on them from the local gas station).  Put a little romance into it fellas!

Then I met my hubby.  He just makes Valentine's day special.

I can't explain it.  It's not about the money he spends or the dinners out we have had, it's about the fact that I know he does it just to make me smile and feel like a princess.

He's a keeper (better be right? That's why I married him!).

We decided a few weeks ago that instead of going crazy for Valentine's Day on presents (like he knows how to do! and I don't know how to do—what do you buy your man for Valentine's Day anyway? unless of course he's a metrosexual, then you could just buy him a shirt I guess)... Anyway, he's great at buying presents and I feel horrible at it, so we decided that we would buy each other the full set of Rosetta Stone in Spanish (latin america) and that we would try to talk to each other in Spanish as much as possible once we both got started.  I think it was a wonderful idea.  The two of us nerds have been sitting here since Sunday throwing out sentences to each other and then translating; it's been fun, we're learning, we're dorks, and he didn't get a chance to really top me this year.  At least I thought...

The doorbell rang around 11 a.m. and who is it but the Lorel Grove delivery people sending me my flowers.  Now, I tried to convince him that he didn't need to "waste" his money on flowers this year, but that man of mine, heard the words "waste money on roses" so, instead he bought me tulips (Which my mom says the seeds are plantable, so I'm prepared to kill the flowers again promptly around spring time—that is when you plant flowers right?)  

I've never received tulips before and they're beautiful!  He really does know how to make me smile when I least expect it.  He's too cute and a romantic, whether he knows it or not.  

We went to Peters for dinner at 5 o'clock (early bird special people we are!) and it was fantastic!  Although, we both have to admit, our experience was much like the Valentine's day episode from Modern Family this past week... What can we say?  We like to eat early, just like the old people in diapers (no joke, there was definitely a woman wearing diapers there) Sigh.  Oh, romance!  But I enjoyed every moment of that delicious garlic soup because after today, no more dairy for me!  I need a new way of looking at food, not just cream and cheese... 

Despite our early reservation, we had a great time, we had an amazing time.  The food was perfect, we had complimentary champagne, and of course, bread shaped in a heart (these are the moments that I actually wish I charged my phone)!  Hopefully, we'll be one of those customers in our early 80's going out to dinner hoping we don't fill up the diaper too quickly (just kidding folks, just kidding!).

So our Valentine's dinner ended a little after six and to my surprise, the hubby offered to go and pick up the desk I ordered from Home Decorators.  I was a little worried, after my adventure with my mom in traffic last week, that we wouldn't get there before the store closed, but he assured me that either way, it would be a nice drive together.  And it was.  Thankfully, the store was open too (again, because I had to hit the bathroom! damn bladder) but also because I was really looking forward to seeing this desk in our office (well his office, since I barely use it, but then again, now I'm up here often because of the Rosetta Stone setup we have going, I guess I can really say, our office).

 He's such a trooper.  After a romantic dinner and a really long drive through the back country of New Jersey, he's in the office, as I type on his computer, putting the desk together for me.  

Now that ladies and gentlemen is what I call romance!  But hey, I even opened his beer for him, so I'm sure he thought that was really romantical too...

Happy Valentine's Day!

No More Facebook (At least for now)...

So, I've been realizing that lately I've been wasting a lot of time on Facebook.  Like three hours a day total time.  It's addicting.  It's silly.  I do nothing but open, close, and reopen my laptop, just to check Facebook. It's addicting. 

I need a break.

So I'm taking my own little version of a sabbatical.  A sabbatical from Facebook.  

I waste so much time just checking and rechecking people's status' and pictures.  It's crazy.  I don't know how this happened, but it did. 

So, I want to see what I can accomplish when I'm not on Facebook.  I thought that this would be a good way to start my week of getting on track with my diet (lifestyle change, isn't that what they tell you to call it these days).  Think of all the time I will have when I don't have Facebook to keep me distracted.  We also just got the Rosetta Stone in the mail, so now I can have a good addiction (hopefully).  

I've told people to follow my blog, snail mail me, e-mail me, or, brace yourself... call me!  I'm not available on Facebook for at least the next the week.  My hubby is changing my password for me and under no circumstances can he give it to me!  So, I hope no one does anything exciting this week!  I hope I don't miss being a voyeur for a week.  It's going to drive me nuts, at least for the first few days, to not see 300+ for status updates...

Here goes nothing.  

My AH HA Moment...

I haven't had a night out with girlfriends in a really long time.  I'm not a drinker and I'm not one for spending money on things that don't last (If I buy furniture, I have it forever, if I have a meal at a restaurant, it's gone within a twenty minute period).  But I have to admit, I had a really good time.  We only thought we'd be out for an hour or two but to my surprise I lasted a whole four hours!  Impressive for an old lady like me.

I like being able to chat about life with my work buddies without having that whole work thing get in the way.  The three girls I went out with all have kids; I love hearing their stories about raising their children.  The funny thing is, I can compare most of their kid stories to a story with my pup.  Is that sad?  I think it's hilarious.  If one of them talks about how their daughter takes out underwear to put it on their head, I start picturing how Luna finds my underwear and gets stuck in it while rolling around with it on the floor.  I guess I really do take comfort in the fact that I have her as my furbaby in lieu of my own child.

As I had my second drink and a shared plate of nachos, we were talking about how hard it is to stay motivated when it comes to losing weight, maintaining weight, or getting toned.  It's a constant struggle.  Then one of my friends told me that I was her husband's motivation for eating healthy—it was like a punch to the head.  He's been on the P90X for awhile now and looks fabulous!  I on the other hand have lost all of my motivation, but I am back up to 3 workouts a week.  It doesn't do anything other than help me maintain the weight that I'm at now (which isn't where I want to be) so I know I need to step it back up to 5 workouts a week, but I'm always feeling so run down.  I hate the winter, I hate the way it makes me feel.

I've been mulling over the idea of going vegan for a little while now; not that I have anything against people who eat meat or animal bi-products, I just started realizing how much dairy products I consume, and with my stomach problems, I'm thinking that it might not be the best idea to keep doing to myself.  I'm not a red meat eater (just never acquired a taste for it really), but I do like chicken and I eat way way too much cheese.  Cheese is probably the worst thing for my stomach problems that exists.  I need to walk away from it.  I think the only way to do it is by going cold turkey—hey I gave it up for Lent once (and felt fabulous!), I'm sure I can do it again; it's just a huge adjustment.

I read an article recently about centenarians (people who live to the age of 100) in Live Right magazine (It's free in our local ShopRite).  It says that in order to live to a ripe old age you need to decrease calorie intake, walk at least a mile a day, and keep up social interactions (also no tobacco use).  These are things I can do and should be able to do in order to live a healthy long life.

I had a great night with friends and had a huge realization, all in one night.  If I'm someone's motivation for eating right, then why can't I be my own motivation and stick with it?  The answer is, there is no reason for me to not stick with it.  I'm going to try the vegan route for awhile (while keeping my protein levels up, don't worry!) and I'm going to see how it makes my body feel; if I can increase my energy levels and get myself motivated to get back up to a 5 day workout schedule, I'll keep it going.  I need a change.  I've said that before and it's never stuck, hopefully I can really help myself stay on track this time.

No Need for the Radio...

I love days with my mom.

A couple of weeks ago I decided that I would finally buy the new desk for the office that I've been telling my hubby I was going to get him (for at least 4 months now).  Right now he's using my Grama's old desk, but unfortunately it's a little too small to hold all of the stuff that needs to be held by a modern day person.  I love the desk and I'll continue to use it in the spare bedroom, but he really needed something bigger to hold his computer.

I found this computer on Home Decorators.

I love this store but it was only recently that I found out that they actually have locations that you can go to!  All this time I thought it was only an online outlet... so I had to check it out.  Unfortunately, our "local" store is an hour and twenty minutes away, but I had to go for it...  

My other buys from the online store turned out to be a lot smaller than I hoped for; sometimes you just fall in love with a look online and you forget to look at the measurements.  This has been my problem when I order things online without seeing them.

So, I asked my mom if she'd take the trip down with me (secretly, I knew she'd say yes, she just loves me) but traveling down to the store, we were hit by a tad bit of traffic—OK, lots of traffic!  It amazes me that people can't understand the concept of merging or how to get off on a their exit without slowing down to a measly 10 mph... it never fails that I get stuck behind the person who loves to tap their breaks too.  Fortunately, I brought my mom with me for the ride, otherwise I'm pretty sure I would have been screaming at the Garmin and screaming at every idiot driver next to me and in front of me.  Moms have a  great calming affect.  I've got her hooked on HGTV too, so I think she actually loved the idea of going to a home decorating store... now we both just can't get enough.

I love the fact that when my mom's in the car, I never need the radio on.  I can talk to her about everything and I always know that she's going to take everything I say to her to heart and she never judges me on my thoughts or my feelings... Isn't that exactly why mom's become our best friends?  A mom is just meant to be your bouncing board and your confidant for life.  And since we were stuck in traffic we were able to talk for a good while about everything and nothing.  Sigh.

So we finally get to the store, after constantly watching the GPS arrival time climb and climb and taking a few wrong turns.  We walked into the store (almost slipped in on the ice) like kids at a candy store.  It was glorious; mostly because I had to pee.  Then I was able to take in the furniture.  It was even more glorious.

We started looking around and I fell in love with an oversized chair that I won't be able to have.  

Sigh.  The one bad thing about having another half is having to consult with him about purchases!  Just kidding hubby—I swear!  But I do love this chair; it's one of those that you can curl up in the fetal position in—how fantastic for reading!

After looking around and enjoying the entire store, I started realizing that the piece I came for wasn't there!  Two hours of bumper to bumper traffic and I walked out of a fantastic store with nothing!  But I did order the piece for shipping to the store; that saves me $70 in shipping!  Thankfully, I found a desk with the exact same dimensions so I know how big the desk is, at least this time around I won't be shocked by a piece of furniture being too small; the size is just perfect.  I can't wait to see it in the office.  Hopefully it looks fantastic.  Either way, I had a great time talking with my mom; I love having her by my side.  Mom's really are the best gift that God ever gave us—that and the time he gives us to actually know our moms as a person and not as just "mom."  We might have hated every minute of the traffic jam of life we dealt with today, but I'm pretty sure we enjoyed every minute of it.  In a few weeks we'll get to enjoy decorating together too.  Thanks Mom!

Tuesday Tea Quote...

"Two can live as cheaply as one, but not as long."

—Salada Tea

Tea Time Fridays...

I've really been enjoying my Fridays with my girlfriend Trish.  It's been so nice to have a best bud in the same town, and we're finally making the time to see each other!  We've always had a friendship where if we are too busy to talk, we can always pick up right where we left off the next time we see each other.  I love that kind of friendship; the one where you always know that a friend will be there, even if they can't keep in contact all the time.  With families, work, relationships, budding marriages, procrastination, and the thought of children on both of our minds, we're making time for each other with the other things that we have in common—old movies, Betty White, and a cup of hot tea...

It's a perfect start to my day and a perfect end to hers; she comes over after work, which is before my work starts.  

Every once in a while you just need a hot cup of tea and a great friend who understands your ins and outs... most of the time we never end up watching a movie, we end up talking about our lives and what's been happening during the week since we've seen each other.  So here's to high tea Fridays and a great cup of tea; just another reason to say TGIF.

More Often Than Not...

What do you do when your, ever so often days, turn into your more often than not days?  For me, I feel like I've been in a rut. Ever so often, I like to sit on the couch and watch an old movie or just veg out in front of the tv, but more often than not (damn you Netflix!), I find myself sitting on the couch and watching an old movie with Shirley Temple, Joseph Cotton, or Cary Grant; or I'm just catching up on the latest of House Hunters. I just can't tear myself away.  

Ever so often I would love to take a bath, but I find myself wanting one more and more and more, even though my hubby isn't a big fan because of the water waste.  Today, he even gave his blessing on my bathly desires because of how hard I worked on shoveling the snow... like he had a choice.

Ever so often, I wouldn't mind the snow in New York.  I would see beautiful snowy landscapes out of our window and I would think wow, we've really got a nice setup here.  More often than not, with our eighth storm of the season, I find myself hating the fact that we bought a house in New York because we have to plow the driveway, we have to clean the porches—we have to do everything!  I used to feel so spoiled in the winter when I didn't have to do any of that stuff, more often than not, that princess, spoiled stuff has been thrown out the window, in a snowstorm. I find myself shoveling.  A lot.  Today, I sat on the couch before my hubby went to work and he asked me what my game plan was for the day in order to take care of the snow while he was gone; what's my game plan?  My game plan is to pout every second that I'm in the snow, that's my game plan! And I succeeded.  I went outside and tried really hard to figure out how the hell to get the snow up over the mounds that were already there from the previous storms; I kept cursing the storm and kicking the snow—maybe I should've had a game plan after all.  After finishing the driveway an hour later, I felt like I accomplished something, but then I remembered that I had to clear a pathway to the porches and to the propane tank.  I stood there and I cried...  

More often than not, I find myself crying; about silly things, about nothing.  It's not that I'm sad, I'm a happy person and I love every second of my life.  But things that I would think of as an accomplishment, have become a burden or a worry.  My hubby worries about things around the house falling apart, so I've found myself having the same little OCD things; will this break, how would we pay for this if something broke, is this safe, can I hang that there or is there not a stud in the wall, will we be able to sell when my hubby retires??? I blame him for all of this.  I love him to death, but his worrywart-ness has become a burden that I now bare...

Ever so often I would go into work and I would think to myself, "how the hell did I end up here, how did I end up bartending for a living?" More often than not, I look around me and think how lucky I am to have a job that pays well and is pretty darn steady;  I work with great people, I have a great boss, and I have customers who have become a part of our little work family.  More often than not i count my blessings that I have a great job...

More often than not I think about the struggle that I have with my weight. Instead of being happy that I'm at a good weight, I think that I could easily get back to being that fourteen year old who weighed 192lbs.  I refuse to ever get back up there again, or be close to it.  I'm 26 going on 27 and more often than not I still find myself hating the image that I see in the mirror.  No matter the stupid shit I did to myself as a teen, I still did everything to my body on my own.  The person that's in the mirror is me; good or bad.  More often than not, I hate when my hubby brings up anything that has to remotely do with weight; he'll never understand.  But I need a change.  A for good change though, not just a, "to get me through bathing suit season" kind of change...  

More often than not I take solitude in the happiness that I have when I'm alone.  Sometimes I wish that I still had the friends that I had in high school, but I know as an adult that I have the best friends that a person could ever ask for, even if I don't get to see them that often. But I've got two great friends that I can count on in life, not including my mom and my hubby.  Ever so often I think about why I've lost friends over the years; was I not a good friend, was I not a good person?  People change, I've changed over the years.  People grow together or they grow a part.  Some people just grow differently, they have different desires.  I find myself sad over the friendships I've lost or the ones that never got there chance to grow, but I find myself rejoicing over the friendships that I know I'll keep forever.

More often than not, I miss my brothers.  One lives in Vermont, the other in Florida.  I find myself yearning for that joking, wise ass, family that I grew up with.  I wish I could go see my brother for his thirtieth birthday.  Sometimes plans just can't work.  I find myself wanting family more than anything.  When I was younger we had family dinners every week; we're trying to start that tradition again.  Something to feel connected; more often than not my hubby and I are in our own little world separated from everybody—just me, the hubby, and the puppy.  Sometimes you need more than just the person who sleeps next to you at night; you need the people who've seen you since birth and grew up with you on every step you took on your journey through life (including the braces and bad hair days)...

More often than not I start thinking about far away places.  Anywhere but here.  I want to be at that happy place where we don't live for our jobs.  I think about where I'd be if my parents grew up in California instead of New York; would I be a bleach blonde California girl?  Would I be thin?  Would that make my self image better?  

One day I'll get there.  Being happy no matter what the day brings.  More often than not I find that my hubby's smile is the best part of my day. Having him say he loves me, before I say I love you to him, is even better.  More often than not I find myself questioning everything I do.  I always thought that by 26 I would figure it out; do I want to be a writer, a musician, a mother,  do I just take my chance and go for it?  More often than not I find that I want to chance it and try to write music, somehow, someway.  More often than not, I think that the stress that I put on myself with trying to become a mother, is just not healthy.  I've lost myself.  Maybe it's just not meant to be, maybe it's not meant for me...

Do you ever find yourself thinking, how did I get here?  

Where do I want to be? Am I there?

More often than not, I find myself knowing that my life will turn out to be exactly how I dreamed it would be—half my dream is already with me every night when I sleep next to him.  I know we'll end up there- but More often than not, it feels like life gets in the way of the big picture...