My birthday has come and gone and I couldn't be happier. I felt such a massive build up over turning 29 this year; it's the year before the big 3-0 so of course, as a woman, it's suppose to mean something. I completely fall into this category of women who believe that all things in life need to be accomplished by this age milestone; Marriage, Family, Career.
However, at the age of 29 I've decided that instead of focusing on all of these things, I really have only one thing that I really need to concentrate on: My happiness.
I don't know where we lose this. Where we lose the concept that our lives need to revolve around the needs of others and not on our own needs as human beings. I've had a long year of reflection this past year and I have to say I'm not happy with all of the decisions I've made, but my sometimes in my moments of clarity I start to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I had one of my friends from high school message me while I was in Nashville and I have to say, it brought tears to my eyes. We use to be inseparable back in high school. The older I get, seeing her successes and hopes and dreams makes me excited.
"so...i don't know if you know/believe in the saturn returns...but it turns out it starts around 29 instead of 27 like i orginally thought...which gives me hope because I see you are on a new path and I think I am too...and it bodes well for us both because we can make our dreams come true now!! so that might have been lame, but i hope you enjoy nashville and keep going for your dreams and you and I can laugh and one day remember way back when our journeys to the top!!It's amazing what age does and how it changes the desires of your soul. Three of us friends had dreams of making it big, I'm still hoping those dreams come true.
My lyrics have grown through my struggles and through my new sense of creativity. Not only can I write from my own perspective, but my creative side is just overflowing with ideas lately. I've never felt so proud of the work I've done, like the work I'm putting out now. I have such a huge desire to succeed at music. I'm taking lessons. I'm entering contests. I feel proud. Finally.
I'm still struggling with the guitar, but I struggle with everything that I don't feel at home with. If it's out of my comfort zone, I tend to shy away from things instead of pursuing it further. I don't know why I still have a sense that people will judge my passions instead of accepting them. It's a hard struggle when the thing you love in life is the same as so many others. When you're not the only game in town, it's hard to make yourself stand out. Hopefully, with my writing and singing partner by my side, we can do just that. I'm excited. I'm scared. I'm excited.
I hope you like some of the stuff you hear. Hopefully, this summer will include some pictures and some more originals and covers. I feel renewed and reinvented. I feel hopeful.