Day by Day...

Ok. Let's be honest. Don't let anyone sugar coat getting your tonsils out. It's horrible. Absolutely horrible.

At first I thought to myself, in a state of drunken anesthesia, "this isn't all that bad!" Fabulous! How great that this isn't what the doctors were saying. Well, once those drugs wear off, let me tell you, it's not fun. It's a constant battle between dryness and an overproduction of mucus. You feel the need to drink, but nothing, and I mean nothing will quench your thirst. Even when you can choke some ice cold water down, it hurts. Like worse than the worst sore throat you've ever imagined kinda hurt.

Did I mention it's not fun?

I kept thinking, ok, weight loss. Anything to lose that pesky last 10 pounds. But then you realize that you're putting on water weight because you're drinking. A lot. And you've taken in no food, so there's not much coming out if you get what I'm saying.

Then you can't work. So, what do you do? In your week of boredom you go through facebook, pinterest, and instagram.  Bad idea! Stay away from these sites as much as possible. Want to know why? FOOD. Everyone and their mother wants to post what they are eating, what they are going to eat, and what they plan on making one day to eat. And it's horrible! Absolutely horrible.

This was my revenge.

That's right Day Three of "healing."

How absolutely disgusting right?!

Go ahead, post some more foodie pictures to your Facebook and Instagram to torture a poor girl that can't eat! I'll teach you. I did actually feel bad about posting the picture, so I took it down. I didn't want anyone to puke; I just wanted to ruin their supper.

I've been completely addicted to sweets for about a year and I have to say that this little getaway from food has definitely helped nix that a bit. If I never eat another popsicle again, I think I'll be incredibly happy. I'm pretty sure that I've burned off those sweet tastebuds.

Tomorrow is my ten day check up with my Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor.

I'm finally starting to sound normal, and the ear pain and head pain has also subsided a lot. I'm pretty sure that day five was the worst of it. I'm pretty sure I asked my husband to just off me and end my misery. He didn't. Aren't you thankful?

It's Totally My Birthday Month...

So why am I not excited?

I'm not going to lie, since my last post, the months have been a bit hard.  My back was worse then thought and I needed to have back surgery.  Let me just say, the surgery and the recovery is so much better than the pain that I was having; at least so far.  The pain was so intense.  Granted I'm only a few days off of my surgery, but I feel so good, at least no more leg pain, just some pain at my incision site.  I'm definitely still in my funk that this all created, but I'm really going to try so hard to get myself out of it.  But this back issue took away all the things that I have come to love in my life.  No gym, no earrings, no guitar, no work, no walking, no gym, sigh.  It's so nice out too, and I can't ride my fabulous bike to the gym either... Did I mention how much I hate not having money already and i'm only a few days into my no work thing!?  Wow, I take so much of my money for granted.  I think I need to revamp my budget—AGAIN!  Especially when I get the chance to get back to work in 6 weeks—6 WEEKS! I need to totally not take for granted the position I'm in.  I'm really good with my money, but I could be even better.  Guess this is what people think of when they have no income coming in and they have way too much time on their hands.  At least it's what I'm thinking of.

I'm totally a person that revels in their birthday month.  I don't limit it to a day or a week, it's always a month.  Yup, I'm that annoying person.  But this time is so different.  I'm not even a little excited.  I'm going to be 28.  I've already had back surgery.  I feel like I'm falling apart.  Emotionally.  Physically.  I'm drained.  Everyone is totally trying to keep my spirits up and I really appreciate it.  From my family, to my coworkers, and my customers, everyone has been keeping in contact and checking in on me.  A lot of people that I never expected.  It means a lot.  I just wish that their positive thoughts could rub off on me just a tad more.

So my birthday is coming up on Wednesday and I'm determined to be a little bit more motivated and a little bit more positive by then.  I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I am.  Twenty-eight huh?  Lordy, I thought I'd have abs by this month, but instead I'm missing pieces of my back!  But I'm determined to get back to my normal routine.  I'm determined to fight my deteriorating back.  Somehow.  I wish I could get motivated with my writing, but I'm in such a funk that I can't get the next scenes to pop into my head.  Hopefully, this will work to motivate at least that end of my creativity.  I have a pretty good set of friends and a great family to rely on.  Did I happen to mention that my cousin in law gave me a brand new pair of Christian Louboutin's?  Yea, I'm kinda giddy over the fact that after my recovery I'm going to rock them!  Somewhere, anywhere!  I love it!

I guess just writing this post has put me in better spirits.  It makes me realize all the things I have to be thankful for.

More to come...

Back...

So, we're back from our tropical getaway, but both are feeling a little bit under the weather.  I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things soon.  Isn't that how it always happens?  You go on vacation and then end up needing a vacation from vacation.  I'm really hoping that while we're on the mend we hit the mega millions jackpot.  A dollar and a dream right?  One could only dream that vacation could just be what daily life is like.  Sigh.  While I'm sleeping, with the help of some NyQuil, I'll be thinking of beaches and drinks with umbrellas...

So About this Vegan Attempt...

I'm doing horrible at it.  I totally convinced myself that before Aruba I would try to get back into a more Vegan lifestyle.  It's healthier and I need to clean up my eating just a tad more in order to feel fabulous in those Victoria Secret bikinis.

I'm doing great, but every once in awhile I get these cravings for everything and anything not on my good for me list.  Isn't that always how it works though?  Every time you cut something off your list (even if you don't eat it often) all of a sudden you start just jonesing for it!

Stupid food.

So, after I wrote the other day on here that I really haven't been cooking lately, I decided that I needed to cook.  I made a fabulous salad that I saw on Apartment 34 (minus all the fanciness) that I just can't stop eating (I know it's got cheese, I know it's not Vegan...).

Unfortunately, three days of eating this fabulous salad (minus the candied walnuts) has equalled my need for another product.

I'm dying over here!  I love my fruits and veggies, but no one lets you know that when you start going all fruit and veggie that it really, well, is just a fabulous mess on your digestion. 

Maybe potato chips would be better?

Then I got this brilliant idea to make some vegetarian chili.

I know, I know, I'm a glutton for punishment.  

Anyone Else Think that the Vegetable Classic Black Bean Flavored with Bacon is Hilarious?

Sometimes, I could just kick myself for the stupid things I do.

So, all day I suffered.  I'm pretty sure my size eights were cutting off my circulation by the end of the night.  I think muffin top would have been the understatement of the year.  

It's almost 2 a.m. and I've resorted to this.

Stupid Vegetarian thing.  I'm over it.  Unless you've all got a better idea!

The Flu Shot...

I don't think I've ever had the flu. I do get little colds a lot during the winter, but people say that you'll know it if it's the flu. So, no flu for me. My hubby is dead set on getting the flu shot. We both work in environments that could easily expose us, but I've never really believed in the whole flu shot hoopla. He got his shot a couple of weeks ago. I've been dead set against it. No flu shot for me I've kept saying. I'm not falling into the trap of the media circle and the crazy cooky doctors. Nope, not me.

So, yesterday I went to the doctor for a yearly physical and blood work. I've been really struggling with the idea of doctors lately. I either find a doctor that doesn't listen to the problems I tell them, spends no time with me, or just prescribes drugs as a quick fix. I was so excited to have insurance again once my hubby and I got married because I thought that it would be nice to have my stomach problems looked at or when I'm sick, to see what the problem really is. But ever since I've had insurance, I've decided that doctor's sometimes are a crock.

When I went to get a skin cancer screening by one doctor, she looked at my age on the chart, and then opened my gown and looked at me for about 20 seconds. Then she determined that I was fine because, "you're too young to have problems yet." Never mind that I had severe burns and blisters from the sun when I was about ten. Who cares that I was in tanning booths for like 8 years of my life when I was a teen. No need to ask about my past, I'm 26; what could go wrong with a 26 year old?

So when I called to get a new primary care doctor, I decided to ask the receptionist who she would recommend. I had a good conversation with her on how I hate doctors who don't listen and doctor's who see you for about 2 minutes until they decide to just prescribe you something without asking any real questions. (When I was sixteen I had a doctor prescribe me anti-depressants after randomly asking me if I was ever sad. I was sixteen, what sixteen year old isn't sad?! or pissed off at the world at some point or another! Needless to say, I didn't use them, my mom didn't approve either, and I never went back to that doctor again). The lady on the other end of the phone completely agreed with me about how a lot of the doctors at the system we use are like this and that she hates it too. So she recommended Dr. Herchak. She said that she's a doctor who isn't all about prescribing meds and that she likes to get to the root of the problems and give homeopathic solutions. She sounded like my cup of tea. And she was! So thank you to the friendly lady on the other end of the phone who let me rant.

First off, the doctor was so friendly and actually sat down with me and asked me about my past and my family history before doing anything else. I asked her for certain blood work to be taken, and she did. When I told her about something, she asked questions and looked into it further. It was such a great change of pace from the doctors I've seen. I was in her office for an hour! A whole hour people! Then she told me that once she got the blood work back she would call me. Good news or bad news I would get a call: "I don't agree with the idea that no news is good news, I'll call you to tell you about all the details I find either way." That's crazy and unheard of nowadays! She did convince me to get the flu shot because of my job, and I agreed. I kinda wished I didn't do that, but she had a great argument going, so I went with her on it. Within twenty minutes after the shot, I started feeling sick. By late last night, I was miserable!

Lots of OJ, Zicam, and a whole lot of Nyquil later, I'm still feeling like shit. But I did have a great night of sleep. You've got to love it when customers say you look tired, while your co-workers will flat out tell you that you look like shit. All I'm saying is that next year, regardless of how much I absolutely love this doctor, I will not get a flu shot. My hubby is convinced that I didn't get sick from the shot, but all I know is that I felt fine when I woke up yesterday and by last night, I looked like a train wreck.

I hope Dr. Herchak sticks around. A lot of the doctors in this area stay for about a year and then run away. It would be nice to have a doctor who is out for my best interest, not looking to just make more money from the pharmacy companies.

Kuddos to doctors who actually care about patients. Kuddos to those that went into their practice for the right reasons. But as far as that flu shot thing goes, next year I'm skipping it because right now I feel like a train is driving through the space between my ears.

It's a New Day...

I've been a little busy lately. I decided to reinstall my InDesign program that I used for my copyediting and layout class, in order to play around with some ideas I've had. One was to make a new banner for my blog. I think it turned out pretty good. What do you think? The other InDesign project was to do a drink menu for the restaurant I work at. Business has been great, but having a drink menu on a table is like bringing a kid to the check out lane with candy at Walmart; you know somehow they just can't resist. I have to do a little editing, but I'm pretty happy with the outcome, so hopefully they'll be coming to a table near you. Well, if you eat at the restaurant I work at.

On top of being sick for the past few days, I've been emotionally drained as well. My internship with the magazine is overwhelming. I just can't understand why the PR people for these companies don't contact you when you're basically offering free publicity. I've sent out so many e-mails in the past two months. So many are unanswered. But I have to admit, when the editor/publisher showed me the mock up of the one section I worked on and I saw my name in the byline, I couldn't help but smile from ear to ear. I know it's cheesy. I know it's nothing too exciting other than product information, but look mom, I picked those products! I wrote that product information! Pretty exciting stuff right? Not really, but it did make me smile. And I'm sure my mom will too. But I've found out through this internship that this is not for me. I want to write. I want to be creative. I want to not stare at computer screens looking for products that I'll never be able to afford. I want to write about lives and impact lives. One day I'll get there.

I'm trying to live with this in mind

My hubby is a great person to get advice from. At the beginning of last semester I thought I was going to absolutely fail all of my classes, but the hubby wouldn't let me get down on myself. I was wrong about failing the semester. Even though it was my hardest, it was also my best. I grew so much as a writer and had amazing teachers. I also learned to use InDesign, which I plan on playing around with more and more. I may not be great at it yet, but it's just fun to play around with.

Right now I'm trying to get things together after having contractors in the house. I still need to call the painter and I still need to have the new mirror put up. I'm still staring at the plastic covered shower wall when I take a bath. But then I sit there in the warm bubbles with the jets pressing against my skin and I actually forget that this is what I'm looking at...

Ughhh...

So I guess I got what I asked for. But I didn't want it to happen this way. I'm sick. So sick that I was given a mask to wear in case I decided to leave the house. No it's not swine flu, but the doctor wanted to take all precautions just in case I got a high fever, then it might be. But I'm on antibiotics, nasal spray, and ibuprofen. I'm starting to cough up stuff— the nice mucus that doctors are famous for asking about the color of— mine is green right now doc, thanks for asking. I think I'm going to start to feel a little better because I can get off the couch. But my body aches, my ears ache, and I can't stop hacking up stuff. It's terrific. I keep drinking lots of green tea with organic honey and trying to drink water, but I just can't stand it right now. So my friends right now are my box of kleenex and my heating pad. My blanket is my frenemy— sometimes I just want to get all bundled up underneath it and then the next second I want to throw it across the room because I feel like it's smothering me and my ability to breath.

My hubby has given me a continuous supply of delicious soup. One day it's chicken and dumpling and today it's italian wedding. Oh how I love the little meatballs that are hidden inside. Unfortunately, the hubby has to work so he can't sit here and take care of me completely. Thankfully I have a mother who is more then willing to help her daughter out. "No matter how old you get, I'm still your mother and you're still my baby!" Isn't she cute? She picked up my medicine from the pharmacy, got me some diet ginger ale, tissues, a thermometer, and some vicks (a sick person's best friend!).

So here I am. Getting nothing accomplished and making no money (that's the one downfall about bartending, you don't exactly get paid sick time). Hopefully tomorrow I wake up feeling refreshed because I can't take anymore time off. The doc says I shouldn't be contagious by tomorrow, so here's hoping. I'm just thankful that I can lift my head up off the pillow. Oh, did I mention how much I love having medical insurance? Such a nice perk of married life.

Sick Again...

I'm sick again. I'm so tired of being sick. This is the second time in two weeks and I have so much school work to do and catch up on. So many interviews to do and I can't keep my eyes open or keep a tissue off of my nose. It's Christmas in October because I definitely look like Rudolf. I have a doctor's appointment for NEXT Thursday. The first time I've been to the doctor in almost three years. Hopefully she can let me know why my immune system sucks so bad because I seem to always be getting sick and I'm the healthiest person I know. I take vitamins, I eat right... granted I never get consistent sleep, but sometimes I get eight hours. Oh well, I've got to head to the bank and then up to New Paltz for class. Yesterday I finally bought some new shirts to fit me from Target and a new comforter for the bed (one that covers both sides of the bed, yea for oversized king comforters!). Now hopefully I don't look like too much of a slob because my clothes don't fit. Then I made dinner for the hubby that he's going to love: thin sliced chicken rolled up and stuffed with laughing cow french onion cheese and parm cheese. He's going to love it.

So, one class and one paper to write for class tomorrow morning, then I'm hitting my bottle of Nyquil because I need to get some sleep and feel better tomorrow morning. Six a.m. comes way too quick. And I've got way too much work ahead of me. I hate not being able to work out right now too because of being sick. But Friday I made an eye doctor appointment too, to figure out why my contacts are killing my one eye. I've been wearing my glasses for over three weeks now and it's getting really old...