So tired, but can't stop...

I'm on my second wind right now because earlier today I was about ready to pass out.  I worked last night till 12:30 am and went to bed about an hour later, then woke up at 6am.  I have to admit, it kinda sucked.  But I kept my eyes open through my classes and went to the gym with Lori.  I have to admit I wanted to get a text message from Lori all day long.  I wanted her to cancel.  I wanted to cancel on her, but I refuse to ever do that to her.  So I started off with a little bit of a struggle but I started feeling more and more energized and finished feeling great.  I do love the gym.  And I got an inspirational phone call to on my ride home.  Throughout our workout today I kept telling Lori that all I wanted when I went home was a piece of our sample wedding cake (we went wedding cake testing yesterday and we got the sample in our fridge... it's pretty much been screaming my name!)  So when I was driving home Lori called me and told me to drink a protein shake and to not eat the cake.  Or if I did eat the cake, at least I had the protein shake.  We talked for a little bit and she vented over her breakup and I vented over my cake!  I did come home and make a protein shake, but I also had a piece of cake.  I didn't want to keep thinking about it and obsessing over it.  But I don't really like cake, I just liked the filling and the icing, so the cake part is in the garbage and the rest is in my belly.  I know it doesn't justify it, but I refuse to obsess over the foods that I can and "CAN'T" have.  I had a bowl full of veggies afterwards and I'm feeling pretty good.  Still awake and waiting for the hubby to come home because I'm missing him like crazy.  There's also a thunderstorm going on outside and I'm terrified of them.  I had a great gym day and a good food day.  Now I just need some sleep... 

Back into the Groove of Things...

I woke up sick today.  I woke up tired.  Still I decided to get out of bed and head to school.  The sun was shining and I take some B vitamins and I started feeling so much better.  I really think the weather helped out so much.  It's hard to feel sick when the sun is shining and it's 60's out for the first time in a long time.  I met up with Lori after classes and she looked so sad, but the workout definitely kept her mind of things so I'm hoping I helped out a little bit with the breakup.  It was a great workout and everything is getting easier to do.  So I had to up my weight on the machines and do more reps.  But it felt so damn good to be back in the gym and hitting it hard again.  I needed it.  I need to stay motivated. 

On another high note, I headed to Target to buy some tanning lotion for the tanning bed so I don't burn like crazy in Aruba, and I couldn't resist looking at some clothes.  I bought a pair of shorts and a new pair of thinner workout pants for the summer, plus about 7 t-shirts.  I spent a little over $100- so I was pretty damn proud of myself.  I need to buy the hubby some shorts for the summer too, but I couldn't remember the size that he likes so I opted to do his shopping another day.  I love shopping, regardless of who it's for.  

I called up my mom today to see if she was up for doing an aerobics class.  She keeps on telling me that she would love to find a gym with aerobics classes, she says that's what she needs to get motivated.  She tried so hard to get out of it, but we headed to the class and man did it hurt like hell!  On top of just finishing a 3 hour workout with Lori, I did this class with my mom.  It was a Core class so it was mostly ab work.  We both got through it and plan to keep going every week.  It's good to have more options.  My mom doesn't want to go to the kickboxing class that Jen (the aerobics lady) has on Tuesday but Lori is excited about it.  So i'll be doing Tuesdays with Lori and Thursdays with mom... If anyone is interested in going with us just let me know, or show up!  It's fun and a big kick in the ass.  Go to Jen's site !  It's worth a look!  She's crazy buff and motivating... can't wait till Tuesday!

I've Been Out of Commission

So I've been pretty sick with my stomach problems since Friday so I haven't been able to get to the gym.  It was a really hard weekend to suffer through but I finally got some relief yesterday.  My hubby went to the doctor for his own checkup and told the doctor about my symptoms (we're not officially married until September, so no medical insurance for me until then) and the doctor was really understanding about how worried the hubby was about me and printed out stuff for me to do in order to get some relief.  Thankfully, after 4 days of really suffering, I'm feeling so much better.  But now I'm going to start working more since my manager quit, on top of my gym buddy not getting back to me, so I'm really worried about sticking with my routine.  It's just hard to stay motivated when you've been feeling like shit and when you're just completely exhausted.  I wish someone could just give me tips on how to keep going when you've had a support system and now you're on your own.  I'm always looking for that magic number or that magic moment when everything clicks.  I've let go of the number on the scale lately because I've been doing so much strength training, and it's been hard to let go.  I've been so obsessed with the number on the scale for so long.  I just need support to keep going...

My mom and I are hitting up an aerobic class this Thursday- hopefully it will keep me motivated.  I need to keep changing it up... 

Need to be Prepared...

I hate not having enough sleep, but with my schedule this semester, it's kinda inevitable.  So when I woke up today, after a whole 4 hours of sleep, I had all I could do to turn on the tea water and get my daily dose of my caffeinated green tea.  Without it I can't even function.  I can't drink coffee anymore, so my green tea keeps me moving.  I love drinking it after I eat too, I feel like with my slow digestion, it helps me feel better.  I had a banana with a little bit of natural peanut butter and normally I pack something to eat during the day or I have protein bars in my car waiting.  I had my grapes (Frozen grapes with sugar free lime jello mix on them- they taste like lime skittles!) and I had a bottle of crystal light (well the cheaper version that I can't remember the name of right now) and I thought I was ready to go.  Unfortunately, I forgot my grapes on the counter, and forgot to put water in my bottle.  So by 12:30 in the afternoon I had to suck it up and buy a salad from the school's cafe.  Then I got a text message from my gym bff, Lori, telling me that she wouldn't make it to the gym today because my friend (her boyfriend) and her broke up.  I'm so upset about it!  I know that her and I will continue to work out with each other because I feel like we've bonded over our weight struggles and our workout obsessions, but I really thought that her and my friend were perfect for each other!  I don't know what happened yet, and I'm struggling to not butt in until she's ready to talk, but i'm just hoping that she's going to be ok.  She's such a great person, I just wish he realized that!  But I did go to the gym all on my own- she's given me confidence to even go into "manland" on my own.  It was a leg day and I'm hoping to be hurting like hell from it tomorrow.  That's why I love the workout, I love feeling the burn the next 2 days...

Anyway, on a positive note, I got my juicer in the mail yesterday!  I couldn't believe how easy it was to operate and how quiet it was!  I guess the infomercial didn't lie!  That made my night.  I made such good juice.  The hubby even like it too.  There's no name for it, I just kept throwing stuff in the juicer until I loved it... here's my recipe:

-Half a watermelon half

-2 carrots

-1 macintosh apple

-grapes

It makes about 2 cups of juice, I promise it's so good... it was so tasty and the best part is, with the juicer that I got you can put the whole rind in and everything, even the vines for the grapes go in because of the nutrient value.  The hubby thought it was so tasty and I couldn't get over how sweet it was and how filling.  I honestly didn't want anything else to eat- normally towards the end of the night I'm fiening for something, but not last night, I'm very happy with my $140 purchase.  Definitely worth it-  I debated because I'm saving money for Aruba and the wedding, but I need to stay motivated and this is another spindle on my wheel.

Today my mother and I signed up for Sam's Club in order to buy bulk fruits and veggies for the juicer.  I also bought some Slim Fast snack bars- the peanut crunch ones taste just like butterfingers!  Granted, you have to have willpower in order to buy these because they are wayyy too good, it's kinda scary how good they are.  I say put them somewhere where you don't see them... Outta sight out of mind, right?  Back to the fruits and veggies,  I know in the end it will be worth it, but why does everything have to cost so much damn money?  Shouldn't the healthy stuff be cheaper than the shitty stuff?  Why are bags of chips cheaper then bags of grapes?  America wonders why people are fat!  The poorer you are the less good stuff you can afford- we've definitely got our priorities in the wrong places.  It's so sad, thank God I have a little extra to buy fruits and veggies- I count my blessings everyday...

I'm a little full right now from the salad I ate earlier with my mom and the chicken I had, so I can't even think of juicing tonight.  But tomorrow I want to think up something where I can add some baby spinach to- I love baby spinach, I'm hoping it juices well.  

Can't wait to start a new day, but I need to get some sleep, I've been up way too long.  Long walk with my mom tomorrow (if the weather coroporates) and I've got some stuff to do for the wedding and for classes, all before work at 4... At least I'm off Thurs and Fri from classes for Holy Week.  Now, it's Family Guy and nap time till the hubby comes home.  Gotta love it... 

Just Another Rainy Day...

I'm sitting here on the couch finishing up the last little bit of my research paper.  I'm exhausted from sitting in front of the computer all day and not seeing any sunshine in my window.  But I'm feeling good, aside from my recurring headache.  My "husband" thinks  that it may be from the new protein shakes  that I've been drinking.  They're EAS- I guess he drank them a few years back and had some of the side effects that I've been having.  This recurring dull headache and the breaking out that's occurring on my face like I just hit puberty.  I usually take the kashi golean shakes but when I went to Walmart the last time they didn't carry the Kashi so I ended up getting these shakes.  I guess it wasn't the best idea I've had, so I promised the hubby that I would stop taking them and go back to my old reliable shakes.  A little bit of kashi protein powder, some light soymilk, a mini banana, some natural peanut butter and some flax oil.  It's so tasty!  I'm telling you it tastes like you're drinking a chocolate peanut butter milkshake... two of my favorite things!  I usually freeze the little mini bananas because it gives it that milkshake taste, especially with a few ice cubes thrown in the mix.  So until I get my kashi, no more protein shakes for me because I can't take these breakouts or these headaches!  Hopefully it's that simple and it's the reason for them.  I know there's probably too much sugar in the EAS shakes so I wouldn't be surprised; my body really doesn't like sugar that much anymore.  We shall see. 

The other day I was reading a friends blog and she talked about avocado.  I love avocado!  I haven't been able to find any good ones around here but the last time I went grocery shopping at shoprite I found some ripe and big ones.  Granted they are without a doubt not organic because they're way too huge to be, but I couldn't resist because I've been craving them ever since I read her blog.  Today I had a spinach salad with flax seed meal, some low sodium turkey breast and avocado.  Little bit of organic chipolte ranch dressing and it was the best salad I've had in a long time!  I highly recommend it!  I've been making the hubby's sandwiches with turkey, spinach, red onions, and light mayo.  He swears he can tell the difference between full fat and light mayo but he really can't.  He never knows!  I'm just trying to ferment him for the next 50 years, so we live long and healthy lives together.  I'm cutting out his red meat to only a couple times a month because I know it's not good for him, and he says he knows it too.  He's always been a chicken guy anyway, but he loves roast beef sandwiches for lunch.  No more.  If not eating red meat is going to keep us going longer, then I'll do anything for an extra couple of years.  He's my baby, I can't live without him, even if it's when I'm 80 years-old.  

Another day, trying to be healthy, trying to keep my head and my heart in a healthy place...

Doing Nothing Today...

Yesterday I was back in the gym with Lori and today I'm definitely paying for it.  Every part of me hurts like crazy but I have to admit I do love it!  But today I'm stuck in the house, huge rain storm lurking overhead, and I'm doing a hypothesis paper that is definitely throwing me for a loop.  I'm a journalism major, not a polysci major, and I have no idea how to write a 15 page hypothesis paper!  But here I am, laying on the couch, being completely lazy and unproductive, at least health wise, while I try to figure out how to do this paper.  I had to skip classes today in order to get a head start on this thing because I knew that otherwise this weekend would be way too stressful, and I'm trying to avoid stress as much as possible.  I've been having some tension, sinus, I have no idea what kinda headaches lately, and I need to do everything and anything to help them pass because no pills are working...

I can't wait for classes to be over, then I can start concentrating on me and our wedding (and first our vacation).  And my juicer will be here in a couple of days too!  I'm super excited... Lori and I are going to start doing yoga together at her house and maybe some hikes during the summer.  I love this!  I love having someone to keep me moving... plus I'll be doing some tennis on the weekends soon too with one of my bff's.  I can't wait to just keep moving, and hopefully keep toning and keep losing!