Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Are We There Yet?

I'm not going to lie, I've without a doubt disappeared from the blogging world. I haven't only stopped blogging, but I haven't read a blog in about 6 months either. I just lost all touch with a lot of things in my life. I've been overwhelmed and underwhelmed. I've been completely lost. I'd like to say that I've had a quarter-life crisis because it sounds really cool, but I'm 28 now and I'm pretty sure it's not a quarter of my life; unless of course I become a health nut and live into my hundreds like those old people in Japan. One can only hope right?

I'm a hopeless romantic and I'm a big dreamer.  My blog name has a lot to do with those dreams. I'm always striving to be "there"— that place where one envisions themselves being at the point that they'll be most happy in their life.

Just a commercial that makes me smile because I always think of "There" - courtesy of Mercedes-Benz

I want that place; I've always wanted that place where I can have everything. I'm incredibly selfish when it comes to that I guess.  I want it all.

I've had this dream since I was about 16 to write music. It's my passion. Writing is my passion. I went to college for Journalism and to be honest, it's just not my thing; even going through those classes I knew, I knew it wasn't really what I wanted to do, but we all do things and finish things to just get through the day and hopefully move on to the next step in life. That's what college was for me. It was passing the time. It was educational and honestly I found it enjoyable. I liked the deadlines. I liked being under pressure on no sleep. It was intense sometimes and I loved it.

I don't have that anymore. I don't have that pressure and I've completely lost that drive that I had even just a few years ago when I was in college. I live off of that. At least I did. Now, I just feel like a lost soul trying to find its' place in this world.

But things are coming together, even when everything sometimes feels like it's falling a part at the same time.  Does that sound confusing or do you completely understand what I mean? If you understand me, then maybe you know exactly where I'm coming from.

Sometimes everything that we dream of comes true.

Sometimes our dreams change and we have new dreams.

Sometimes our dreams get crossed and we get lost along the way because we're not sure if we can live both dreams simultaneously.

Around August I started writing music with a girl named Amy. She's young and she's a sweet heart and she's inanely talented. She also thought that I was like 23— God bless her.

I absolutely love the stuff that we've been coming up with together. It feels serendipitous. I've never felt so comfortable showing my words to someone and having someone just "get it." You can show words on a page to anyone and all they see are words and can't see it as a song. This girl can see the song. She can feel my feelings and make a melody out of it. It's kinda perfect. I'm giddy.

We're heading into the studio in February to record some of our stuff. I'm excited and yet scared out of my mind. But I can't wait to hear the result. I can't wait to start trying to figure out how to sell things. I need to figure out how to copy right and how to sell our demo. I guess I need to get on top of these things.

It's insane what we're trying to make a reality.

This is my childhood dream. I'm pretty sure this is hers too.

Sometimes my life feels like it's in a whirlwind. I'm so up and down and all over the place. I'm thankful to have friends, new and old, who are attempting to keep me sane. I don't know what I would do without a "Thinking of You" card and call from Florida, or a text message from California or Philly. My Golden Girl and I always pick up where we left off and if something happens in our lives we're always the first to know. We have all been through a lot in the past year. Lives are changing so fast. We've lost loved ones, we've gained new loves either in relationships or in forms of babies, and we've been with each other every step of the way. A vacation to brag about, a new job, a birth, someone sending flowers when you feel down and out, or even a new friend knowing that sometimes you just need to gossip and have a glass of wine in order to get through the next few days, weeks, months, or years.

I have to say, I don't have a huge group of close friends, but those that I hold close and trust are so dear to me and I wouldn't know what to do without them. As cheesy as it sounds, and I've said it before, I'm so thankful for the iPhone.

I refuse to believe that people can't have it all. I think that one can live their childhood dream and live the dreams that have already become reality. I want it all.  I want to be selfish. I want to have my cake and eat it too (I've never really understood that saying, who would want cake without eating it?!).

I'm going to blog again. I love blogging and I miss it. I've just been in a rut and then in more of a rut. I'm hoping to get my ass out of it in every way. I want to focus on the things that have made me happy, but that I've lost sight of in the mess of every day life. For the few that read this, I hope you continue to again. I'll try not to disappoint and be all rutty again, instead I'll focus on being moony.

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