So I've been a little preoccupied lately. I've been one of those bad bloggers— you know the ones who get people interested in reading about what they've got to say, only to go and get some sort of a life, so they barely blog anymore. Yup, that's me. Now when I say "some sort of a life" I really mean, we have a new member of our family, our puppy. Now when I say I've got readers, I really mean, my mom and my best friend. But, either way, I've been a bad blogger.
Have you ever had something or someone enter your life and then you think to yourself, "how did I ever live without this/them?" - Well, that's me with our puppy. I don't know how I went through the day without her. She's loving and playful and just a cuddlebug. I love it. When my hubby is away at work, I sit and cuddle with her or play with her, or even talk to her while I do my stuff around the house. Animal experts talk about animals having separation anxiety and they try to teach us humans on how to help the animals deal with it. Now, one thing they never mention is the separation anxiety that dog moms and dads experience. Because let me be clear on this, I am her human mother.
I never thought I would be one of those people that took a dog on car rides or took the dog to the store, but yup, I am. On her first night in our house I had to take her to a bar... in a purse. I came home from work to her out of her crate. As her mom I was scared for her safety, so I had to bring her with me when I picked up my hubby from his first night out in a long time. So there she sat, quietly in my bag to pick up her human daddy. I've taken her to Lowes and Home Goods. I've spent countless dollars on her vet visits and on her toys and food. Hubby has done the same. Seeing her little tail wag when we come home is worth every penny. It's worth every accident she's had in the house and on the furniture. I never would have thought that 1.9 pounds of fur could equal a million dollars worth of happiness. But that's exactly what she does.
So, if I've strayed from the blogging world, please forgive me. I am a new mother and I've had a countless number of sleepless nights due to my new puppy. I've had to bathe her poopy fur and clean her little eyes. Yet, all the time I've spent mad at her could never add up to a second of happiness that she gives me...
During my little sabbatical from blogging, even with working at actual paying jobs, I also enjoyed being a little nostalgic about my youth. Reading through old journals about who I was in "like" with and who I was "bosom buddies" with really made me think of how much high school and middle school really never mattered in the scheme of things (It also made me realize how pretentious I was as a little kid). I remember my mom saying to me when I was a kid, "remember these times, these are going to be the best years of your life." Thank God she was wrong! Reading back on journals and looking back on the chunkier years of my youth, I was a happy girl, but even at a young age, I focused on my weight and always felt out of place because of it. But I had a great friend. I had fun vacations with her and her family and at the time I thought we would be friends forever. Now I have no idea where she lives or how her life is turning out. I loved spending summers with her and I always felt accepted by her, but it's sad to me that those friendships from our youth never really last. I want to make sure that when I do have a child, I make sure that I let her/him know that the friendships of their youth will not make or break their future friendships or loves. Granted, I will fondly remember the times I spent with said friend and that friendship probably helped in developing me as a person, but in the end, we ended up not being "bosom buddies"- we ended up with separate lives and separate goals. As a kid I pictured growing old on rocking chairs with this person. I wrote in my Anne of Green Gables Journal about our adventures all the time. I couldn't believe that someone could want to spend day after day with me... I guess when you're a kid, you think these moments are the biggest in the world. In my little kid world, these days were the best... Being nostalgic and all, I found the Anne movies online and ordered them. I remember watching them for hours after getting out of the river bundled up under blankets. I just got the movies in the mail. I can't wait to spend ten and a half hours watching these movies and remembering these times...
The point is, as a kid, you think that every little thing that happens to you matters and is life changing, but looking back as an adult, you realize that none of it really mattered and that the only thing that matters is your family and how you view yourself. It doesn't matter if you're the pretty girl or the goth girl. It doesn't matter if you're a cheerleader or a band geek, what matters is that you take the time to figure out who you are and then the friendships you make will be the lasting ones. When you're still figuring yourself out and finding yourself, those friendships won't matter in the end. My best friends are the people that I never expected. One has been a constant friend since elementary school, but we always had other friends who we might have spent more time with. But we always knew that we could depend on each other. The other is one that I met in middle school, but even in high school, I never thought that we'd be best buds. She didn't think it either. Isn't it crazy how changes in life can change friendships and change your path? She taught me the art of sarcasm. Something my hubby is really thankful for. Really. No, not really. I love these girls. But no one compares to my mother...
My hubby (who is my newest best friend) can't understand why I never went through a rebellious stage against my mom. He says that every girl rebels against their mom at some point or another. I guess I'm strange then. I've always loved my mom and I was always thankful for her sacrifices and love. She's always understood me and gave me the freedom to figure out who I was and where I wanted to go. I never felt anything but love for her my whole life. I guess I'm a strange one hubby, but then again, you married me, so what does that make you? Huh? Just checking...
So I'm back to the blogging world. After working too hard, taking lots of time on the couch to do absolutely nothing, writing for things other than the blog, working out like a fiend, and being a wife and puppy mother, I'm happy to be back writing. I hope I don't disappoint again. But there are just somethings more important than blogging that are just too hard to resist...
1 comment:
Yes, I'm one of your devoted readers.
I completely relate to your blog, as usual. It is very interesting how friendships change as do relationships. I have always known that I could count on you regardless where we were in our lives and I know that is something that will always be true. We are going to be Golden Girls through and through <3 <3
I too am not normal, I didn't rebel against my mom. I may not have agreed with her always, I didn't "rebel." But like you said, there is no one like mom.
Luna is adorable. I came home and told Jon that I wanted one too. I love being a pet mommy :) I spent many sleepless nights when we had the kittens in the house. I would sit in there with them to make sure everything was ok and that they were eating.
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