So Behind the Times...

I can't help it. I might be a little behind the times, but I just discovered through my blogging the girl on page 194! She's me... well not really ME, but I relate so much to her. I'm a girl who works out and eats right but I'm never going to achieve that tight body that you see on the pages of Fitness or Shape. It's ok. Really I'm ok with not being that girl who can eat everything and look like she's only eaten lettuce, but man it's just refreshing to see a girl with curves who is proud of those curves. My hubby loves my body. Now I can honestly say that I feel a little bit more comfortable because of the girl on page 194 (Lizzie Miller). Kuddos to her and to Glamour for showing a real woman in the magazine. Now we can only hope for the front cover! (I'm so behind the times, this was from August!)

PHOTOS COURTESY OF GLAMOUR

Ughhh...

So I guess I got what I asked for. But I didn't want it to happen this way. I'm sick. So sick that I was given a mask to wear in case I decided to leave the house. No it's not swine flu, but the doctor wanted to take all precautions just in case I got a high fever, then it might be. But I'm on antibiotics, nasal spray, and ibuprofen. I'm starting to cough up stuff— the nice mucus that doctors are famous for asking about the color of— mine is green right now doc, thanks for asking. I think I'm going to start to feel a little better because I can get off the couch. But my body aches, my ears ache, and I can't stop hacking up stuff. It's terrific. I keep drinking lots of green tea with organic honey and trying to drink water, but I just can't stand it right now. So my friends right now are my box of kleenex and my heating pad. My blanket is my frenemy— sometimes I just want to get all bundled up underneath it and then the next second I want to throw it across the room because I feel like it's smothering me and my ability to breath.

My hubby has given me a continuous supply of delicious soup. One day it's chicken and dumpling and today it's italian wedding. Oh how I love the little meatballs that are hidden inside. Unfortunately, the hubby has to work so he can't sit here and take care of me completely. Thankfully I have a mother who is more then willing to help her daughter out. "No matter how old you get, I'm still your mother and you're still my baby!" Isn't she cute? She picked up my medicine from the pharmacy, got me some diet ginger ale, tissues, a thermometer, and some vicks (a sick person's best friend!).

So here I am. Getting nothing accomplished and making no money (that's the one downfall about bartending, you don't exactly get paid sick time). Hopefully tomorrow I wake up feeling refreshed because I can't take anymore time off. The doc says I shouldn't be contagious by tomorrow, so here's hoping. I'm just thankful that I can lift my head up off the pillow. Oh, did I mention how much I love having medical insurance? Such a nice perk of married life.

Do You Think It's Possible...

I'm waiting for this magical moment where I'm not tired. I feel like one day I'm just going to wake up and not be tired. I feel like I'm going to wake up and feel refreshed. Do you think it's actually possible? Because right now I know it's only my dream. I want to be one of those people who wake up and feel like 8 hours were enough. I want to wake up and feel like 4 hours were enough. I just want to not be tired. I look in the mirror and I feel old. At 25 years old, I feel like my body is crying out loud and yelling at me to just slow down and take in the moments around me. But I can't. I can't slow down because I have to work and I have to go to school. I wish I could be one of the lucky ones— one of those kids who goes to school and mom and dad pay for it— but I know that's not possible. I know I have a better life than most of the people around me. I know that I have the best husband in the world, a beautiful home, and an amazing family. I couldn't be luckier... I just wish I could be less tired. I want to be able to wake up and go for a run. I want to feel like I have energy running through my body instead of loads of green tea. I look at my wedding band and engagement ring, I dance in the living room with my husband singing into my ear and snuggling up to my face, I look at my mom and see the most amazing person, I sit in our home drinking a cup of tea— there are so many things that I have to be grateful for. I am so blessed. I just wish I could get a few more hours of sleep.

Everyone tells me, "just a few more weeks and you're done with classes and everything can get back to normal..." — why does it feel like these next few weeks are going to go so slow and I'll never be able to sleep again? Why can't I just see that J-school will be over soon and that I won't regret it? Maybe it's because I'm so frustrated with journalism and the business aspect of it all. I went into journalism because it seemed like a great solution for finding a career that went along with my love of writing... it seemed like a good idea a few years ago- now it just looks like I'll be bartending and writing blog posts to keep myself sane.

I need to go and run. I need to do pilates. I need to do yoga. I need to snuggle up to my hubby on the couch while reading a good book. *Sigh* In just a few weeks this will all be possible... please let these next few weeks pass very quickly.