She's the kind of woman who is extremely talented at expressing herself in poetry and writing, albeit in a kitty cat notebook. She's confessed to me that her family had never believed in her and that they always told her that she could never be anyone special. She cries to me. She laughs. She breaks my heart.
This past Sunday she told me that she thinks that I'm a good soul. That me and another customer were the most kind-hearted out of the group. That she loves me. I had a bad week and I have to say, it made me smile. She calls me "Scarlett" because she says that I remind her of Scarlett Ohara (I say, I wish I had that infamous 18-inch waist). That I remind her of a movie star or a 1950's pin-up. I don't mind the flattery, even if she's not the best judge.
Sometimes she brings her teddy-bear in to the bar. She calls it, "Father." She wears a fedora which quickly gave her the nickname of, "Crazy hat lady" or "Scarecrow." She brings in her notebook, which she gave me the pleasure to read one night. How heartbreaking. How sad her life has been. How sad her view on the world, but how poignant too. She talks on a cellphone sometimes even if no one's there because as she put it, "sometimes Scarlett, it's just nice to feel important and have other people think you're important too."
I came into work one day and found a present to me from her. I was a tad weirded out, but intrigued. It was toiletrees from a hotel in Atlantic City. She's also tried to give me a half used, knock-off bottle of Chanel No5; telling me that all classy girls should wear Chanel No5, even if they can't get the real thing. I sadly turned her down saying that I only use one perfume, but that I thought the gesture was incredibly sweet. She was upset this week because I didn't receive a toy duck that she bought for my puppies and said that I had to track down the culprit who stole it from me because she spent eight dollars on it and wouldn't see it go to waste for some thief! She then told me that the person who stole it or forgot to tell me about it, must be fired on the spot for being untrustworthy. Don't worry. I found the toy duck. No one was fired. I'm sure my pup Luna will enjoy humping it; although it does make a duck call sound when it's squeezed, so that could make it very interesting.
We've all had our fun at her expense. But I've had a few heart to hearts with her and I know that the fun we have gets her out of a lot of manic moments. I invited her out with a note last week to get her to come and see everyone (also so I could get people to come out to see her!). I felt kinda bad afterwards and some people were saying it was mean. Then I saw her the next day and she told me she cried happy tears for the first time in a long time and that it made her day. She told me she had a really rough night and when she woke up to find a note from me, she couldn't contain herself. Even if it started off with selfish intentions, the night was fabulous and the end result was a very happy woman. I felt redeemed.
I almost started to cry. How did this woman know? It's not something I talk about at my job. It's not something I reveal to every soul, especially the wanting a girl thing. It was just a weird moment. There have been so many strange moments with this woman, but this one took the cake and threw me for a loop. I'm sure it could just be some sorta fluke. I mean women my age want babies. Women want daughters. But how strange. I told a few people and some got chills, others thought I was gonna join her in the crazy club. But for someone like me who's had this desire for so many years, to hear those words, from someone that's almost a stranger, how could I not be baffled?
I hope she's not just crazy. I hope she's insightful and tad psychic. I hope I am meant to do big things. I sure know that I dream big. Let's hope that her vision prevails on all levels. I wouldn't mind being on a tour or down in Nashville holding my baby boy. I'm not picky.