A Start...

Thankfully, things feel like they're looking up.

Today, I happily had my last day of training and I'm thrilled to say that I am now gainfully employed in downtown Nashville at Pucketts. It's a great restaurant that I've actually enjoyed going to on two of my trips. My friend Lauren and I both commented in August how it'd be such a cool place to work. Live music and good food. The place always seems to be busy. I'm excited to get some socialization that doesn't include talking to my pups and the people who work there are mostly fellow musicians in one aspect or another.

After a few weeks of feeling so overwhelmed with anxiety because I didn't have a job yet, I think it's crazy that I find myself wanting to be home because of the guilt I feel leaving my pups alone all day. To me, they'll never just be dogs, they're my kids.  Geeze, I'm such a homebody. I miss home. One of my bests would love to know that as I drive home at the end of my shift, I think to myself, there's no place like home... I miss my home in New York and I miss my home in Tennessee where my babies are waiting for me. There's no feeling like the sheer love you get from pups (or cats) that just love you because you love them. They want nothing from you, but they give so much.

I'm not going to lie, I'm beyond exhausted everyday because of this job. I know I just need to get into a new routine, but man mornings are incredibly hard to adjust to when you're use to going to sleep at 3 a.m.— Five thirty wake ups are insane to me. Even the pups know that there is nothing right with waking up that early. People say your body adjusts. I hope they're right because I feel like the walking dead every morning. I don't think a coffee IV would even help.

Another bright note is that my window is fixed. Finally, it's fixed. I can open my blinds and let some sunshine in now. It's kinda nice. Even though I have the security system and I'm sure a piece of plywood helps more than glass against thrown rocks, there's something about having that window fixed. I think it's brought me back to what I hope will be a new normal here. I feel safer with it fixed. Even though a few hours before it was fixed my neighbor knocked on my door to let me know to stay inside because there were four cop cars at the end of my road, a helicopter flying overhead, and a canine unit in our backyard because another house was broken into. This makes four houses in my facility since mine was broken into. The crazy thing is, it's a really safe area. I think people are getting desperate. Luckily, this time the culprits were seen so apparently there's a description out there. I feel safe though. Is that strange? All the crap going on, and I feel safe. Is it the alarm system? I don't know. Is it my gun? I don't know. I just know that I'm not scared like I was on that night when the hubby and I first walked in to the ransacked place. I think it's because I'm not letting them win. Fuck them. I won't let them scare me or violate my new home. Punks.

I Could Never Get Enough...

My pups are the cutest thing ever, right?! 

They make mommy and daddy so proud. They are the greatest gift ever. Not only do they add so much joy to our lives, but they helped make us feel more and more like a family, even without human little ones running all around. We always promised ourselves that we wouldn't call each other mommy or daddy to our dogs, but it took us only about a week of having Luna in our lives that we slipped up. I can't believe she's going to be four this year and Stella will be two. The time has just flown by. They give us so much love. These babies are just as loved as any kid could be.

A New Addition...

I couldn't help it.  

I had to have her.

I walked in and saw her and said, "Hi baby, I'm your mommy."

She cuddled into me.

I fell in love.

We named her Stella.  I'm not going to lie, I love yelling it.  She's been in apart of our little family since April and we couldn't be happier.  The Laundromat is also pretty happy because we've been visiting them during her potty training because our King size comforters are too big for our machine.

She's perfect.  

Her sister Luna tried really hard not to love her at first.  That lasted about a day.  Then she fell in love.  Stella is Luna's baby.

She loves to nap, especially on my computer.  She loves to drink water and when she's thirsty she goes to our water cooler and scratches at it.  She's too smart.  Just like her mommy.  

I try to be so humble when it comes to my kids.  But seriously, I really can't be.

A Little Puppy Love...

So I have this amazing puppy.  She's pretty perfect.  Her name is Luna Mae.  Well, her name is Luna, but I've been throwing around the idea of giving her a middle name lately, and Mae just seems to flow so well, no?  Well, it's still up in the air.  Daddy just loves the idea, especially since every time we watch the show Parenthood he mentions how the one actor's name is Mae and he just seems sooo thrilled about it!

Last night we had some mommy, baby time while daddy was mad at mommy for leaving her wet shoes on the floor in the basement.  I'm working on it, I'm working on it.  Sheesh!

I always love pictures of women with their babies so I figured I just had to share!

Say It Isn't So...

So I'm leaving my hubby and my furbaby tomorrow to visit my bestie down in Florida.  I can't even explain to you how badly I'm already missing them, even though they're both on the floor doing tricks (that is, the dog is doing tricks for the hubby) for some egg.  That pup of mine just loves eggs!  Almost as much as the hubby.

I love my bestie, but I don't know how I'm going to do it!  I've never been anywhere without my hubby since we started dating over four years ago.  I'm a mess.  I'm not packed.  I haven't actually thought about leaving.  I've pretty much determined that no make-up should be worn to the airport tomorrow unless it is super water-proof.  

I'm a cheeseball.  

Who dreads a mini vacation?!  Am I the only person on the planet? 

If I could spend every waking moment with my hubby, I would.  Is that normal?

Probably not, but that's OK by me.

I'm not being completely negative.  I know I'm going to have a great time with my friend helping her decorate her new house, but my best friend will be at home by himself, and I just can't stand that feeling.  

I can't remember the last time I slept without him.  I hate the thought.  I wonder if I'm going to be able to sleep.  No hubby and no furbaby to cuddle up to.  I was going to take the pup with me, but it was $200 to take her on the flight.  So that's a no go on her first flight.  I'm going to need some good wine to sleep at night.  I hope she's prepared.

But my carpetbag came in just in time for the trip.  Now I can be just like Anne of Anne of Green Gables and Mary Poppins.  I just love how it turned out!  Isn't it just beautiful!

I've also entered a contest to win a custom portrait of our little Luna.  I'm really hoping that Rachel Stratford picks our little girl to capture with her amazing artwork.  Just check out some of her pieces at my favorite blog Nat the Fat Rat.

Here's Nat's dog.

Picture from Nat the Fat Rat, by Rachel Stratford

How amazing is Rachel?  That's not from a computer program.  It's pure talent.

I'm really going to miss my hubby and my furbaby.  Maybe if I have a little portrait it will help the next time a trip comes around and I have to leave our little Luna home.

Maybe I should start packing.  But the hubby is cuddling on me so I'm sure it can wait until the morning.

Halloween is Over, So Why am I Decorating Now...

Halloween is not one of my favorite holidays.  I'm not big on dressing up and if it wasn't a requirement for my job, I wouldn't ever do it.  I don't really ever recall liking Halloween that much as a kid either.  A lot of kids had those big, expensive costumes, and we always had ones that we a lot more simple.  The only costume that I ever really remember was when I was a 50's girl in a poodle skirt.  Oh, I loved that poodle skirt! 

So for the past five years I've had to dress up for Halloween for work.  It went from 70's theme, super heroes, Disney Princesses, movie stars (yea, I dressed up as Marilyn Monroe- shock) and now this year the restaurant had an 80's style theme.  I decided that I was going to go all out.  I was Peggy Bundy from Married with Children.

I'm pretty sure it was a scary costume.

Like I've said before, I've never been one for decorating for every holiday either, but I guess my family just didn't want to accept that.

My dad and his wife decided (after reading my blog) that I needed some decorations for Halloween and Thanksgiving. 

They're pretty fabulous for doing that for us and I was touched about the thought that they put into it.  The only downfall is, the puppy keeps barking at the little door handle scarecrow.  So I've had to move him away from the door by her bowls to the front door.  She still barks at him and gives her little growl, but I've decided that he's staying so she'll just have to deal with him.

So maybe next year I'll do a little bit more decorating, but I think I'm pretty satisfied with my new loot from my family.  Thanks guys!

I Really Thought I Could Do It...

I really thought that I could stay away from HomeGoods, but this weekend, I had an epic fail.  My whole trip to the stores came about because I needed to get a new picture frame from Michael's for the photo I had blown up from our wedding of our family members.  It turned out amazing...

Picture this photo with a beautiful black frame around it...

Unfortunately, Michael's is really close to HomeGoods and I thought that there would be no harm in "window shopping." I guess I didn't realize that there would be so many things that I needed; I guess I just didn't know that I needed them before heading into the store.  I knew I needed a new lampshade because the hubby has been constantly complaining about the one I bought about two months ago because of the lack of light it lets out.  I found the perfect one.  Then I just happened upon the most perfect lamp ever for our living room.  I just had to have it.  And it was on clearance!  Yea, me!

It all started with a little Christmas outfit that I found for Luna.  If it wasn't for those little Christmas pajamas I wouldn't of spent any money.  I walked out with spending only $49, not that bad for three great purchases!  I can't wait for the Christmas cards this year (well, if I actually send them out, I'm really bad with those damn things!)...

No pics until I get new camera batteries.  I think the camera is on its' last leg; we just bought new batteries for our Yankee game is September.  I guess that just means that the Canon 5D Mark II is next on the need list... dammit, I should have never said I wouldn't spend money.  It's like I'm setting myself up for failure... Oh, well... I never said I was perfect.

Until then I'm finishing up my Tuesday with my puppy on my lap, Sex and the City 2 on the TV, and the new Vanity Fair with Marilyn Monroe on the cover... and cooking my hubby some dinner.  I'm a good housewife.

I Just Love Myself a Thursday...

Today was a perfect fall day.  A little chill in the air and the wind blowing the multi-colored leaves that remain in the trees.  It's the time of year when you have to debate; do I cuddle up on the couch with a good book and a blanket or do I enjoy the rest of the fall sunshine?  Luckily, I managed to do both.  

Luna and I started our walk with a lot of gusto.  She's really getting the knack for the walking on a leash thing.  I'm a proud momma.

When we rounded the green bridge into town, she started to get tired; jumping on my leg with each step we took towards meeting up with our friend Trish.  

I knew that I wanted to get a little bit longer of a walk in, so I decided to see if the hubby's mom was home and willing to puppy-sit while I finished my walk because my back couldn't handle picking her up every time she got a little too tired.  It's amazing how heavy four-pounds can feel after a few minutes of carry time.  Luna started pulling the instant we were outside of her g-ma's building and when we were buzzed in she ran up the stairs and went right to her door.  I couldn't even keep up with her.  Thankfully her grama was thrilled to see her and enjoyed every minute of the company.    

The walk was perfect.

It was nice to catch up with my friend.  It's been awhile since we've been able to talk about everything and nothing.  We both are motivated to not just accept what has always been the norm for us.  Giving up when things get tough starts to get old after awhile— bad habits are really hard to break, starting new good ones seems even harder sometimes.  Walking Luna helps me stay motivated when the blanket keeps calling my name.

Anyone Know Anything About This?

We walked through the local cemeteries and I stopped to say a prayer at my family plot and at my aunts. 

It's nice to see the love and affection that families put into the graves of their loved ones who have passed.  I've never viewed cemeteries as a morbid place, but always a place of love and faith.  Mixed with the fallen leaves the cemetery can be so calming.

After we parted ways I went home to get the car so I could pick up my hubby's dry-cleaning.  I couldn't decided whether or not to go home first or pick up my furbaby.  I decided that it would be easier on her and on my back if I went home first.  I was also a little scared that the last of the sunlight was fading so I didn't want to chance it.  

I spent some time with my mother-in-law which was nice because I haven't been able to spend much quality time with her or my hubby's family in the past few months.  Unfortunately, all the nephews birthday parties are on Sundays and they also fall during football season; there's really no way for me to take off for the parties, but thankfully my hubby can still go.

I just miss family and friends.  

I went up to my mom's to see her and the pups and have a huge cup of hot tea.  I hate that feeling you get after walking or running in the cold weather; you're sweating and yet you're cold and once you cool down, you still really can't shake that chill that takes over.  

More errands after our short visit; I had to go grocery shopping.  I'm pretty sure it's been at least 2 weeks since I've done a full shopping trip.  Five bags and $100 later, I'm really hoping that I can get by with another two weeks of no grocery shopping; it's just a little hard when you eat a lot of fruits and veggies.  Sometimes you just have to go for the frozen variety, otherwise I'll come home with things I really shouldn't be eating.  How much hot chocolate can one person have in a two week period without it being just too decadent?  How much cheese can one eat for it to no longer be helpful for it's calcium and vitamin D, but is more of an artery clogger and a cholesterol riser?

Overall, I really did have a great Thursday off.  I have to say, the four day work week is definitely a treat every other week.  The next few weeks should be great; my brother is coming to visit this week, then we're off to Indianapolis for a few days, and then one of my bffs is coming home for a working week.  I can't wait to have all the company.  It will be a nice change of pace because I know that today was.

Till then, I'm looking forward to another perfect day.

My Morning Wake-up Call...

Every morning, my little Luna likes to wake me up by giving me kisses.  Not her father, me.  She sleeps between our heads and lately, under the covers too.  I have to say that I love her little kisses so much, but as the weather gets colder and colder, I try to quietly push her to the other side of the bed so she'll give her dad wake-up kisses instead.

Sometimes her wake-up kisses start at 8 a.m. but mostly around 10:30.  It's the worst because I really only have a little bit more time to sleep, but she's decided that it's time to wake-up—now.  I'm so warm and then suddenly I have to pee too.  She's now decided my bathroom time.  Sometimes I think that I can hold it, so of course she can hold it too.  Then I lay there and decide that I can't do it anymore- so mommy goes first, then I trek downstairs to take her outside.  She likes to take her time.  She stretches.  She sniffs.  She attacks the leaves that have fallen on the porch and then gives them to me like they're presents.  She really is the best, but I just can't wait to crawl back into bed.

Then there are those moments where she gives me the, "please mommy, please" look: she wants to climb downstairs and use the grass instead of her porch placed wee-wee pad.  Sometimes I give in because she's just too damn cute.  Other times, I just keep saying, "no baby, not now, mommy's cold."  A lot of the time I just can't help it and I let her do what she wants; it's just that damn look she gives.  I wonder how I'd be with a real baby when she gives me that same look and not just my furbaby.  I'd probably be just as bad of a sucker.  I take comfort in the fact that my hubby is the same.

I love watching her go down the stairs.  Butt in the air, legs fling up with every step she takes.  Then she gets to the ground with the leaves surrounding her.  Her first encounter with leaves was quite amusing.  She was walking like it was any normal day in the grass; her favorite spot.  Then she felt a crunch and heard the rustling noise.  Suddenly, she hopped back.  Smelled the leaves.  Smelled the grass.  Jumped for cover.  Then she would take another step, and the same thing just kept on happening.  "Crunch" then lots of hopping,  running, and spinning.  It never fails to make me laugh.  She still doesn't get the leaves. It makes me laugh with every step she takes.  Even when I take her for a walk on her leash around the neighborhood, she never walks in a straight line, she zig zags through all the leaves on the ground.  

It will be interesting to see if anything is better than the little licks and kisses that my Luna gives me every morning.  Maybe it's just like the feeling that a real mother feels when she gets love from her children?  The little noises she makes, the little sighs of contentment, the feeling of her laying in a little ball on my lap, makes it all worth it. 

 Sometimes I don't want to be woken up.  Sometimes I just want to stay and bed and have her leave me alone.  Sometimes I quietly ask her for just five more minutes or one more hour of sleep.  Then I remember that I wouldn't know what I would do without her.  I remember how lonely I was when the hubby was at work and I was home alone.  Like any mother, I count my blessings for the joy she's brought to my life.  Still sometimes, I want her to go to daddy when it's time to go out.  The scary part is, winter is just around the corner— I know I'm going to hate every minute of the cold mornings, but I just can't wait to see her play in the snow.  

To Bike or Not to Bike...

That is the question.

Lately, I've been thinking about buying a bike more and more. Is that weird? I'm 26 years old and I live in an area that's not really too keen on biking. Everyone drives here. I mean everyone drives everywhere.

If you have to make a trip to the bank and it's only two minutes from your house. You drive. If you have to go to the post office and it's a four minute walk, you drive.

I guess it's the country mentality. Maybe it's our location. But no one uses the God-given mode of transportation; our legs; walking. Some of us might walk or bike for exercise, but for daily activities? Never.

Why is that? When did this happen?

Maybe it happened when all the grocery stores in the area disappeared. Maybe it's because we have to go to Pennsylvania or New Jersey for something as simple as gas, clothing, milk, or practically any other essential thing that a human being may need to survive. And there's pretty much no way to walk or bike to these stores without risking your life in the traffic flow.

What's wrong with this picture? I wish it was a simpler time when our small "city" actually offered goods to people. And answer me this: How exactly can a place be called a "city" officially when it doesn't even have a grocery store for its citizens? Crazy. Just sad.

Should our title of "city" be dropped back down to "town" status? Is there a way of doing that? I mean I know we had enough people back in the day to be officially called a city, but come on people, are we seriously still a city? No grocery store, no movie theatre... what a fabulous city.

Any business that comes to this place ultimately fails. It is, again, sad. People would rather drive to the mall or go to a Ruby Tuesdays then have a real home-cooked meal, or a meal that's prepared on the spot by a local mom and pop restaurant. Don't people realize that the chains prepare the food and then freeze it and package it for the restaurants? Ugh. There are local places to eat people! Support them!

If we're a little small town, with lots and lots of antique stores and the small town appeal that everyone knows your name and they'll be there to support you when a tragedy happens to you or your family, then why don't we embrace this small town feel?

Why not bike? Why not walk? Why not keep the cafes and restaurants in business?

Wouldn't that be an amazing small town? Couldn't we get there again? I think we can. I actually love this town, I just would love to see it flourish like it did in the days that my mom and my grandparents spoke of.

I think I'm off my soapbox now? Maybe.

So how did I start off on this? Oh yea, should I buy a bike? How silly would I look biking to places in a "city" that doesn't seem to use any mode of transportation besides a car/truck/suv?

Do other people feel like me and want to walk or bike to places but just feel weird about it? Am I the only one? I can't be. Right?

And if I do buy a bike, do I bike to work? I mean it is pretty close, but there is the whole coming home a 2 a.m. thing... not to safe, eh? Hmm, more to think about.

Then there's Luna, I mean, would I be one of those people, that I mocked nearly a week ago?

Then there's the matter of this little thing... I haven't ridden a bike since I was about 14 years old. It was great then. My friends and I used to bike everywhere. So the question is, is it true that once you learn to ride a bike you never forget? Because wouldn't that just be silly if I fell flat on my face after all this ranting?

Anyone with me? To bike or not to bike, that is the question...

Is it OK to Think of Your Puppy as Your Baby?...

I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't know what to do without my pup. It's crazy how quickly a furry little thing can become such a huge part of your life. I never thought that I would be this crazy in love with a little dog. But I am. I'm pretty sure that my hubby knew that this would happen. I'm pretty sure he knew that the only way for me to not miss him so much while he's away at work was by giving me a little furbaby distraction. It puts off the real baby too. Man, he's good.

I can't stand to leave her at home in her crate by herself. Before anyone feels bad for us crating her, we have to. She's four pounds. She would chew on wires or get stuck somewhere. I can't risk her getting hurt. So, just understand, the crating is necessary. I just try to avoid it as much as possible. It's nice having a little furbaby because I can take her everywhere; she's easy to hide. I just can't believe that I'm one of those people. You know those people that we make fun of? The people who carry their dogs in their bags? Yup, that is now me. I'm the dog carrying lady. When I was a kid we would think this one little old lady was crazy for pushing her little dog around in a baby carriage. Now, they sell these in stores! She was ahead of her times. I'm really not that bad, consider these other options:

ALL PHOTOS & PRODUCTS FROM WWW.PETCARRIERS.COM

Now that I think about it, carrying her in a bag so I can take her to the store, isn't that bad.

Unfortunately, she wasn't too keen on being in her bag at HomeGoods yesterday, and decided to tear a hole in the mesh surrounding her bag. So now she's grounded. Well, until I can find a new bag. There's a toss up between these two:

My hubby thinks I'm a little crazy. But then again, he's the guy who tries to convince me to take her to work with me on his days off so he doesn't have to "babysit." When I ask him what he would do if we had a real baby when I go to work, he answers, "well a real baby only needs to eat, sleep, and be changed, after that they go in their crib right?" Oh, he has no idea. It's kind of cute. Right? I mean, seriously, how could you not want to love this pup all day long?

No wonder I want to take her everywhere.