I Think I Can, I Think I Can...

Well, 2013 good riddance!

I'm kinda excited that you're almost over. Not gonna lie, you weren't the best year, not the worst either, but definitely not the best. Maybe it's because I'm getting cynical in my old age, but I keep on looking back on my life and thinking about which years were the best. Well, 2013 you were almost the worst. I'd say 2003 beats ya, maybe even 2005, but hell, that was ten years ago, and I was still a kid! So in my adult-ish life, you sucked more than most years.

This has been by far my laziest year on record. I think I hit the gym til about March and then crapped out. I'd pick it up here and there, but mostly I just was a lazy ass and my ass shows it.

I felt very unfulfilled at most things this year. I love the people I work with, but I think I've reached the age to safely say that bar tending is just not the fun that it used to be. It's always been nice to walk away with cash in hand at the end of the night, but I must say that I'd trade it for a normal routine in a heartbeat. I wish I realized that in 2010. Dinner at home, at my unused dining room table would be really kinda awesome. Poor, beautiful, table. At least it's used for collecting mail.

I'd have to say that by far, 2013 was the best year for my music. So, 2013 you do have some redeeming qualities. We got to play at the Bluebird, and we've successfully played a bunch of gigs in our hometown area. Plus our demo is almost done, but i'll push that to 2014 for the true excitement, seeing that I don't have it in my hands yet.

This is my last New Year's Eve working at my bar. It's kinda bittersweet. I've never been a big NYE person, everyone knows that, but there's definitely something about it that feels like a true ending. You can start new at the stroke of midnight. And that's what this year is all about—I've got some big promises to fill this year. I'm not good at keeping promises, so I try not to make them, and I hate when other people do, but I'm going to keep this promise and try like hell to make the most of our music this year. I'm going to work my ass off. And hopefully in doing so, some of my ass comes off in the process! Double score!

So, goodbye 2013.

Hello 2014. Nice to meet you. Please treat me well.

It's Almost a New Year...

I say this every year, but damn, time really does fly by.  I remember us just being in Nashville like it was a few weeks ago and sadly it was in June.  I remember sweating our butts off and now I'm freezing my butt off in NY.  I wish I had something poignant to say, but I really don't.  Time is flying and I'm just along for the ride.  I say all the time to my customers and to my friends that I hate growing older and growing up, yet what other option do we have?  I mean I want to grow old!  I don't want to be dead yet!  

So this year I want to stop wasting time.  No more mindless hours in front of the television, I really want to be productive.  Well, more productive.  I'm tired of always saying that I wish there were more hours in the day to get things done.  Well, honestly, if I didn't get in my couch potato moods and my I'm addicted to words with friends mode, I'd be completely fine trying to shove everything in to one day.  I need to take advantage of the time I do have to get things done and stop bitching and complaining that I have no me time.  It's really not that I have NO me time, it's what I do with the me time I do have.  I have to start being productive with the time I'm given.

On my list

1. Pick up the guitar for at least 15 minutes a day.

2. Do Rosetta Stone for at least one lesson a day.

3. Write more.

4. Search for jobs within my degree.

5. Give the house a good cleaning at least once a week.

6. Fresh sheets once a week.

7. Eat out of necessity not out of desire.

8. Push myself with my workouts and aim for a minimum of four days a week.

9. Swim (I really love swimming and I miss it).

10. Go to church every week.

I'm hoping I'm not the only one with grand ideas for the new year.  I don't want to say (as always) that I'm making any resolutions.  I just want to better myself as I get older.  It's a good time to start fresh right?  And most of these are already in motion, I'm just trying to make myself accountable and keep them going.  What are your plans for the new year?

Last Year's Resolutions...

It's about time that I started on some of last years' new years resolutions... As I've said before, I'm really done with the resolutions.  I never stick with them and last years' resolutions were the last ones that I will ever make.  But I was thinking about some of the stuff that I resolved to do last year; other than the typical, lose a few pounds things, I vowed to do things instead of giving up things that were bad for me.

I really want to learn to play the guitar.  I grew up as a band/chorus nerd, kinda, and I love music and I love writing lyrics.  It's pretty much my dream career, being a songwriter. I've always wanted to pick up the guitar and learn how to play and last year I was lucky enough to have my bestie's brother loan me one of his.  Unfortunately, the guy who said he was willing to teach me never followed through and I never followed through on my own—another resolution that I failed at.

Finally, the other day I started to pick it up on my own.  After months of failing at certain beginner books, I finally found one that helped me at least get started.  The book teaches the strings and their names instead of teaching chords right off the bat.  I feel like I'm getting somewhere!  I know that the chords are obviously the most important part, but I'll get to that, I promise.

I'm not expecting to play like people who've been doing it for years; I'm just not trained that way, but I want to at least have it help me in my song writing.  Hopefully I can put something behind the words that I write; hopefully, it can help me with some of my melodies that I need to work on.  Unfortunately, my nails will never be the same IF I keep this up.  I never realized how long nails and playing really aren't a good combination—so long, long nails, hello painted ones...

I still want to learn a new language too—I haven't picked up the Rosetta Stone software because the price is still a little too high.  I've been looking on auction sites, but I can't help but be scared of scammers and ripped off software...

I guess I'm really not good at this resolution thing at all! Thankfully, I didn't make any this year, so I can't break any.  But I still want to follow up on last years, just to make myself feel better. 

Happy New Year?...

I may just be one of those cynics who doubts the power of the new year and doubts the ability of people to change once a new year begins.  Everyone is making new year's resolutions and vowing to change for the new year, but over the years, I've finally stopped believing in the power of the new year.  I know that every resolution I've ever made has fallen on my own deaf ears.  I know that if I want to change a bad habit or start good ones, it's not going to happen just because the calendar happens to say January 1st.  

Does this make me a bad person?  Or just honest?

When I was a kid I would spend new year's eve with my Grama and my brother; he always went crazy cutting up confetti and then vacuuming it up later.  I loved watching the old shows that came on TV after midnight and eating popcorn.  I still love popcorn—thanks Gram!

When I was a teenager I was so caught up in the hype of new years.  I remember my parents going out and I was left to watch the ball drop on TV all on my own.  Just me and my teddy bear.  I would cry.  But why was I crying?  I don't think I even knew why other than that everyone on TV was partying with friends and snuggling up to the cutie next to them.  My boyfriend at the time wasn't home and I just felt so alone.  But why does it get so much more heightened because it's new year's eve?  Damn media and advertising.

Ever since I met my hubby I've had a new year's kiss at the stroke of midnight.  That I am thankful for.  I used to think that not being kissed at midnight was the worst thing possible!  Now, I hate to admit, I hate the idea even more, now that I know what it's like to have someone to hold for the new year and for every day after.  It's not about the power of new years, it's just knowing that with each year passing I become happier and happier that I've met the love of my life.  So, I guess I sometimes get caught up in the hype as well, even as an "adult."  After having years and years without it, I need my midnight kiss.

I work every new year's eve and I love to see people having fun.  Now I'm a part of those old memories I have from when I was a kid, I'm just not dancing it up; which is fine by me since I have two left feet.  I look forward to Twilight Zone marathons and Honeymooners marathons.  Now that is the joy of the new year; somethings that are old just never get old.