Procrastination is a Bitch!

I just realized that I'm again falling behind on school work and hoping to win the lottery is just not going to cut it. I had every intention to wake up early today and actually get some things accomplished, but after having breakfast and turning on the Golden Girls, I found myself drifting back to sleep. Then after my husband woke up, I finally got my ass in gear. Rushing as always.

12:30- I leave the house with books in tow, a 32 ounce bottle of water, my husband's dry cleaning that he needs for Thursday, my half-charged cell, and unfortunately without any green tea. I was a hot mess, dropping stuff while heading downstairs to my car. Stop at a local orchard really quick because I need fresh almond butter, peanut butter, apples, concord grape spread, and apple cider. Luckily my bill was $38 because I had exactly $40 in my pocket.

1:40- I arrive at New Paltz and thankfully pulled right into a parking spot because I was running late and had to go to the bathroom (my 32 oz water was finished on my car ride up).

1:45-4:40- My investigative reporting class. Which I'm realizing I'm falling a little bit behind on, so I'm getting scared. Again, procrastination is a bitch.

5- Drive very quickly out of New Paltz to Middletown in order to drop of my husband's dry cleaning so it can be ready for him to pick up for work on thursday. For some reason he decided it would be great to wait to the last minute... hmmm, I think we're perfect for each other, eh?

6ish- I'm home and have just enough time to change my clothes for work and fill my 32 ounce water bottle back up. I head off to work for a shift that is supposed to start at 4 p.m. but because of school and my very understanding co-workers/friends and boss I'm given lots of leeway on the time.

6:30-1 a.m.- I work and painfully think of the fact that I have school work to do before doing it all over again and waking up at 6 a.m. As one of my customers annoyingly reminded me, my not sleeping thing is, "very dangerous and not good for your health." Really? Thanks, I thought only sleeping an hour or two was completely healthy. Thanks for the input.

1 a.m.-4:45 a.m- I work and research.

4:45 a.m.- Finally I sleep. I e-mailed my professor the homework.

I'm becoming a walking zombie at this point, but I know that it will all be worth it in the end, when I get "there." I just can't wait for those golden moments of eight hours of sleep. I remember them from the summer. I can almost taste them. I still need to get my exercise in because I'm realizing that it keeps me sane. But on days like this one was, it will only be a 20 minute pilates dvd, no Jen Murphy. After class again today, I've got work again tonight. Thankfully, my boss and friends are letting me sleep and I'll be in at 6 p.m. Thank God for friends! Now it's time for bed so I'm not "dangerous" to myself and others.

Back into the Swing of Things

I cannot believe that it's been a month since I've blogged! But my life has definitely been in a whirlwind in the past month; I've been busy, very busy. On September 21, my husband and I got married! Officially. The wedding was perfect. In one word, it was just perfect, there is nothing else to describe the day. I never thought that a day could honestly be as magical as our wedding day was. Not one thing would have been changed- from the flowers, to the dress, to the music, to the candle-lit tables, everything was perfect. Surprisingly, I wasn't crying throughout the entire day- I was composed and giddy. I've never been happier in my life. It was a day to be enjoyed and a day that we'll both never forget. I will also remember, forever, the weight that I was on this day: 143 pounds! I have not thought of being under 150 pounds since I left my teenage years, so this accomplishment was more than I ever expected from myself. Not one time did I think, "do I look fat" or anything like that; not a negative thought was in my head. I've never felt more beautiful in my life. I want to weigh this weight 20 years from now- if we ever have a child, after I have the child, I want to weight 143 pounds. I've never felt better in my life. I wake up feeling sexy. My whole outlook on everything is changing- I feel so proud of myself for reaching my goal of weighing 150 pounds- but I actually beat it. I haven't weighed this little since I was 16- almost 10 years ago. My husband couldn't watch me walk down the aisle because he was getting so emotional; in the receiving line, after the wedding, he asked me to do a little twirl for him so he could see me in my dress... all he keeps talking about is me in "that dress!" what an amazing feeling! I know that on my wedding day I looked amazing and couldn't have felt better. What a feeling! I'll never forget this day.

Now I'm back to reality. After 3 weeks of no workouts, I finally went back to Jen, and oh how I suffered! Her thursday class kicked my butt and friday I was feeling all the aches and pains of her workouts, but I have to admit, it felt so good! I've missed that feeling. Today I had a session with Jen and again she kicked my ass. But I'm not complaining because I see the results and I feel the difference in my workouts- she says I've taken my game to the next level... what a compliment! Now I've got to get my best buddy motivated to lose weight too! She's getting married in July and I'm her matron (so weird to say!) of honor and she needs to get motivated to get into her beautiful wedding dress. So, here I am, a newly converted exercise girl and healthy eater, and now I've got to help my best bud. I know it's not going to be easy, but like me, she's got no choice in the matter but to get her ass in gear. So i'm going to be the angel on her shoulder telling her what to do- hopefully I can help her out. First step, Jen Murphy classes. She's such a motivation, so I'm hoping she'll motivate my friend too.

This weekend was Jen, pilates dvd's, and wii fit... I've just got to keep motivated, just like I have been. My mii on wii fit is now at "normal" weight and is looking skinny and trim. I'm at 22 percent body fat. I was at 28. I couldn't be more proud, but I think I said that already. Good things are always worth repeating. I can't wait to wake up tomorrow to some windsor pilates. As my nutritionist doctor has said, dedicate at least 10 minutes everyday to exercise and you'll never fall back to being overweight. With Jen at least 2 to 3 times a week and my wii fit and windsor pilates dvd's I can't fail. I never want to fall back to being overweight again. My husband can't stop looking at me, Oh what a feeling that I never want to lose! I just keep having faith that this feeling will never end.

Guilt...

I feel a little guilty for not going to one of Jen's classes last night, but I couldn't spare a minute of time. I woke up with every intent of going, but unfortunately I was thrown a couple of assignments my way, and had to opt for my computer screen and books instead. I know I needed to do it, but I'm really enjoying my workouts. With this class and work schedule, the only day this week that I'll be able to go is Friday afternoon. It's definitely a bummer. I feel stronger when I leave a session with Jen and I feel invigorated. It's just disappointing that school and work are causing so many conflicts. Maybe once the wedding passes I'll be able to fit more in. It's just that writing 3 or 4 papers a week doesn't leave me much time for myself anymore. And I love time for myself. To curl up with a good book or a cup of hot tea. That's the perfect ending to my day. I just wish I was able to have those perfect days a lot more. I guess I'll have to suck it up for now. As long as I keep my eating in check, I'll still be able to lose these last couple of pounds. Thankfully I do a lot of walking at school and I still try to make time for my 20 minute pilates dvd. I guess I'm starting to realize that I can't do it all. I have to get enough sleep in order to even function throughout the day, so sometimes the working out is the only thing that I can put aside; for now. So right now, I'm doing some class work between classes and sipping on a cup of green tea with lemon (courtesey of my big thermos and my lemon packets). I'm just waiting for those precious hours of sleep that await me tonight. And tomorrow afternoon before class, I hope to get some great stretching in with my pilates dvd. I need it. My back can't take this driving anymore. I'd rather stand all day than do this for 14 more weeks! But alas, I'll be working tonight, so that standing thing will be happening soon enough. I just can't wait for our wedding day... and now my best bud has asked me to be in her wedding in 10 months! It's so much to look forward to... I love getting dressed up and having fun with friends, and now I have an even better body to put clothes on! Yeaahh me! At least that's something that I'm not guilty about :)

Getting So Close...

The big wedding day is just around the corner... 17 days to be exact.  To say I'm starting to get stressed is an understatement, but it will all be worth it to see the joy on our friends and families faces... and more importantly on our own.  My progress has been great when it comes to my diet.  I'm eating 2 meals a day that contain a protein and veggies... and throughout the day I'm turning to veggies and fruit to keep me on track.  I'm down to 148 lbs.  I can't believe I weigh below 150!  It's honestly been about 8 years since I've weighed that little.  I couldn't be more excited.  I just wish I wasn't as stressed as I am.  Between a full work load at school (15 credits) and my full-time job, I'm exhausted.  Some days I'm only getting 2 hours of sleep after work before waking up for classes.  I can't stand commuting anymore.  My back is killing me!  I'm trying to fit in Jen and her classes in every spare moment I can get.  It's worth it.  I know it's worth it all because on our wedding day, I'll never have to worry and say "do i look fat?" I've never felt happier about myself and about the way the hubby looks at me.  It's amazing what 20lbs can do for a woman's self-esteem.  The only thing I long for is more hours of sleep.  Oh the joys of summer, how I miss you!  Today was the first day that I was able to finalize some wedding stuff.  It felt good to get some things done.  It felt great to realize that I really don't have much left to do.  17 days and counting... I can't wait!  I'm so glad I pushed myself to lose this weight before the big day... I may have lost my boobs, but I've gained so much confidence!  Love, love, love this feeling! 

One Month Till the Wedding!

One month till our wedding and I'm on such a perfect path to losing the weight I want to before the big day.  I'm at 151 right now, by the big day I'd like to weigh 145-140.  For me, that's a size 6.  A size 6! I haven't been that size since I was 16 and this time, I'm actually doing it the right way.  Eating right, mostly a diet of protein, fruits and veggies and lots and lots of exercise.  Jen Murphy is a miracle worker.  My body is changing so much and I love looking at myself in the mirror right now.  I can do pull up crunches with ease now.  Crunches are getting easier and easier.  Squats are like nothing now.  The pain is getting easier to bare after my workouts and I feel so energetic.  I'm following Jen's recommendation of making sure I have protein everyday.  I take this protein called New Whey.  It's basically like a shot of liquid.  Not like a needle, it's like a shot of alcohol- but doubled.  It's the easiest way for me to get my protein in and I can drink it right after my workout or keep it in my pocketbook and drink it quick at work.  It's the easiest way for me to get it in- and I don't have to get out my blender or drink some nasty thick shake.  I love this protein.   Check it out.  

Today was my wedding dress fitting.  It was amazing.  The dress is big on me, but they don't want to take it in until my next fitting on September 12th because they don't want to take it in more than once.  My veil was almost finished and my hair clip is amazing.  I'm beyond cloud 9 right now!  Unfortunately, losing this weight has also caused me to lose a lot of my boobs.  It sucks, but I'd rather be thinner with a smaller chest then big with a bigger one.  If the fat has got to go, it can go from anywhere on my body, I'm not too particular.  I can't wait for my next fitting!  So much to look forward to... 30 days!  I'll officially be a Mrs.  

So Jen is adding a Wednesday and Friday afternoon class to her schedule once the kids go back to school.  A 1 pm class is perfect for us night working girls.  That means I might be able to get in 4 days a week with Jen.  I love it... I think I'm getting obsessed with working out.  This is a nice addiction.  I'd rather love this than my obsession with food.  Life is good...

I Love Cooking...

After a nasty bought with my IBS I decided to go off of Jenny Craig.  I think the massive amounts of sodium that are in frozen dinners are just not good for my body.  I'm back to eating fresh fruits, fresh veggies, and chicken... it just made me think, I love to cook.  I love making meals into healthier version of standards.  And my hubby loves my meals too, so I guess I'm not that bad of a cook.  I wish I could open my own restaurant, but to make money you need to have money to spend... maybe one day.

So yesterday, I hit up one of my favorite places, Soon's Orchard, and bought organic peanut butter (for $2) and tons of apples, blueberries, peaches, nectarines... I love local farms, and I wish there were more in my town, but that's the nice thing about going back to school soon, New Paltz is full of local markets.  I hear there's a farmers market on weekends in my area, but to get anything good you have to make it there at 8 am.  That's just not going to happen when I go to bed at about 4 am on Friday night... maybe one day if I ever work a normal schedule.  But tonight I must say, I think I outdid myself with the food for hubby's dinner tomorrow... Cheddar bacon Chicken- low fat, low sodium, and still full of taste.  I can't wait till he eats it.  I love cooking... I've missed it so much.  

Feeling Frustrated!

My weight is not budging.  I'm doing what I'm supposed to do, but nothing is working... am I complaining? Yup.  I have stomach problems that are plaguing me and I feel like it's the reason I just can't budge.  Jen thinks I need to step up my cardio from walking.  I think it's a combination of both.  It's just so damn frustrating.  I'm so hungry after my workouts so it's hard to keep my head moving toward a goal.  I know sometimes I eat too much, but too much fruit and veggies? How is that possible?  How can the things that are good for you, keep you from getting what you really want?!  The days I eat a lot of fruit and veggies to stay off my hunger, my stomach problems act up even more!  I'll try to keep what the hubby says in mind, "drink water and wait 20 minutes before you go for something more to eat..."  I'm trying... did I mention that I read the Monica Seles memoir? I want to say, if she could lose weight, so can I, but let's be realistic...  I've been in such a mood the past couple days because I feel disgustingly bloated and in pain... why can't this be more simple?  I don't want to feel like these sessions with Jen are a waste... this week will be two days in a row with her, let's see some more results body!  ughhh... let me just be in my mood