Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Guilt...

I feel a little guilty for not going to one of Jen's classes last night, but I couldn't spare a minute of time. I woke up with every intent of going, but unfortunately I was thrown a couple of assignments my way, and had to opt for my computer screen and books instead. I know I needed to do it, but I'm really enjoying my workouts. With this class and work schedule, the only day this week that I'll be able to go is Friday afternoon. It's definitely a bummer. I feel stronger when I leave a session with Jen and I feel invigorated. It's just disappointing that school and work are causing so many conflicts. Maybe once the wedding passes I'll be able to fit more in. It's just that writing 3 or 4 papers a week doesn't leave me much time for myself anymore. And I love time for myself. To curl up with a good book or a cup of hot tea. That's the perfect ending to my day. I just wish I was able to have those perfect days a lot more. I guess I'll have to suck it up for now. As long as I keep my eating in check, I'll still be able to lose these last couple of pounds. Thankfully I do a lot of walking at school and I still try to make time for my 20 minute pilates dvd. I guess I'm starting to realize that I can't do it all. I have to get enough sleep in order to even function throughout the day, so sometimes the working out is the only thing that I can put aside; for now. So right now, I'm doing some class work between classes and sipping on a cup of green tea with lemon (courtesey of my big thermos and my lemon packets). I'm just waiting for those precious hours of sleep that await me tonight. And tomorrow afternoon before class, I hope to get some great stretching in with my pilates dvd. I need it. My back can't take this driving anymore. I'd rather stand all day than do this for 14 more weeks! But alas, I'll be working tonight, so that standing thing will be happening soon enough. I just can't wait for our wedding day... and now my best bud has asked me to be in her wedding in 10 months! It's so much to look forward to... I love getting dressed up and having fun with friends, and now I have an even better body to put clothes on! Yeaahh me! At least that's something that I'm not guilty about :)

Friday, September 4, 2009

Getting So Close...

The big wedding day is just around the corner... 17 days to be exact.  To say I'm starting to get stressed is an understatement, but it will all be worth it to see the joy on our friends and families faces... and more importantly on our own.  My progress has been great when it comes to my diet.  I'm eating 2 meals a day that contain a protein and veggies... and throughout the day I'm turning to veggies and fruit to keep me on track.  I'm down to 148 lbs.  I can't believe I weigh below 150!  It's honestly been about 8 years since I've weighed that little.  I couldn't be more excited.  I just wish I wasn't as stressed as I am.  Between a full work load at school (15 credits) and my full-time job, I'm exhausted.  Some days I'm only getting 2 hours of sleep after work before waking up for classes.  I can't stand commuting anymore.  My back is killing me!  I'm trying to fit in Jen and her classes in every spare moment I can get.  It's worth it.  I know it's worth it all because on our wedding day, I'll never have to worry and say "do i look fat?" I've never felt happier about myself and about the way the hubby looks at me.  It's amazing what 20lbs can do for a woman's self-esteem.  The only thing I long for is more hours of sleep.  Oh the joys of summer, how I miss you!  Today was the first day that I was able to finalize some wedding stuff.  It felt good to get some things done.  It felt great to realize that I really don't have much left to do.  17 days and counting... I can't wait!  I'm so glad I pushed myself to lose this weight before the big day... I may have lost my boobs, but I've gained so much confidence!  Love, love, love this feeling! 

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